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AshleyR  ·  3065 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Ask Hubski: How do you fight loneliness?

    All of us need people that we can connect with, people that we feel safe with, people that we consider true friends. What happens when those people are in short supply?

I've been living this situation for 5+ years. Now that I got out of college and out of a job, it got more complicated. Throw in my parents' divorce this year and their regular bickering and that's how it is right now.

In the beginning, I went out on my own a lot. Then, it got old and now I go to the library read the local newspapers and the new magazines, when they arrive. That's my only fixed outing involving people. I like walking around town on sunsets as well.

    How do you fight loneliness Hubski?

Music. A huge drive towards making it in music, video games and the internet. It's my window to the world; without it, I'd be 10 years behind. My city tries to pose as a big and modern place while the mindset is that of a traditionalist small town. People go around and ask which family do you come from, people are closed off and there's not much incentive to socialize around here, apart from going to the mall. That's what everyone does here in the weekends.

I tried finding some groups to get into, even joined the only free EFL conversation group here in August (all the others exist inside the schools, you need to pay to get in), but that didn't work for me. Apart from that, I don't use Facebook or Whatsapp, so basically I don't exist in my town.

There were also the pen-pals in the beginning of this year: used to have conversations with girls from New Zealand, England, Australia and the US. We just drifted away from each other, and I don't feel like having pen-pals right now. I tried IRC groups too, that didn't go very well.

When I got interested in starting a company again in July, I tried getting involved in those start-up events, and the nearest one from here was 200km (~120 miles) away. In the end, I found out about the 2 coworking spaces in here, went to one, introduced myself and told that I wanted to help someone build a company, met a guy who wanted to start another EFL school, he wanted me to work for him and I backed off. That school didn't get out of the blueprint yet.

I like music and go to the few music-related events here. What happens is that there are always the same 60 people in there: we had a week-long musical event here last month, and you could see the very same 60 people in the audience every single day! BTW, we don't see eye-to-eye much, so there's also that.

When I'm out and about, I try to talk to people, but it just feels like we are far away from each other... they feel like an empty husk to me.

That's my story regarding loneliness and feeling detached from my environment. Moving out of here is the long-term solution, but I lack funds. What I do to cope with that is just put on my headphones when my parents start fighting and forget about the world. Music is pretty much my drug: one of the ways of escaping reality.