I'm not gonna lie. I don't know much about medication to know whether or not what you have planned is a good idea. You should definitely keep in good touch with your doctors and be very, very careful. It's great that your parents are willing to help you through this. That said . . . That's no way to think. Day in and day out, no matter how shitty you feel, you need to respect yourself, remind yourself why you're great. Push yourself each day to be just a little bit better than you were the day before. Some days you'll do it with little effort, other days you'll fall up short. That's cool. Shit happens. What's not cool, is giving up. Remember, you're awesome. You already know it. All you have to do is show it, each and every day.I just want to be better. I hate it that I keep screwing up like this. I wish I could be trusted. I hate who I am and what I've become.