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Isherwood  ·  3172 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's writing prompt: All the Senses

Great work! This is a wonderful example of showing instead of telling. By showing your character sinking into the snow instead of telling me it was snowing, you painted the scene much more subtly and allowed me to be be enveloped by it. The descriptions were wonderful and the use of sense was good. Taste was kind of shoehorned in at the end but that's totally understandable, it's a tricky one.

The characters felt real and the sparse use of dialogue was very fitting to the situation. My only negative feedback is that I want to know more about the situation. Maybe I'm dense but all in all it felt a little too cryptic. I get that they're leaving a cabin for the cold, but a bit more depth there would be nice. There were also sentences that started with conjunctions and phrases that used the same word twice, but those are minor and more attuned to your style than steadfast rules.

Great work and keep writing.