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Isherwood  ·  3187 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's writing prompt: write and rewrite

No, I just got a job where I have to give feedback on what people create. I figured the best way to get better was to just give people feedback, and here we are.

As for the second paragraph - I think I read it wrong the first time. I was reading it like a spaceman spiff comic where the kids were pretending they were of a distant planet and not the frenzied mind of kids jacked up on horror films. So that critique can change a bit to inserting more emotion into the scenario. It was just a little difficult for me to pin down the scene and why the kids were so scared.

It's unfortunate that you gave me such great feedback on a comment where I miss read the story...