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It's a haunting scene. the writing style created a very mysterious and disjointed picture of the location, which gave it a nice mystical feeling. The other side to that sword is that I'm not exactly sure what's going on. I get a feeling of the place and the experience but since it's not grounded in reality it acts like a dream in my mind, where each sentence vanishes before I can really grasp it. If you lean in more to creating that reality I think you'll have a more complete story. But I think this would make a very good aside of a protagonist who finds themselves in an unknown land as the emotion of it is very strong.