No, I'm not still in Curacao. I'm fighting with a custom PHP script to get URL rewrites so this lady can have her thousands of insane custom URLs with no pattern whatsoever without opening up a security hole from hell and having to manage her shit for her.
Save me. I'd much rather be thinking about this.
Rephrase and I'll get to it whenever I finish this. If I don't return, I've drown myself in a bucket of whiskey and I apologize in advance for leaving you hanging.