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These are awesome. I could add one to that list:
11. You publish your paper. For next few years, several other papers are published that build off of your results, but they do not cite your paper, because is would make their results seem less novel. Actually, I could add a ton. Here's one: 12. NIH releases a exciting new grant fast track opportunity for young researchers! You spend two weeks applying. They receive 20k applications and fund three of them. You realize that you would have been better off working at McDonalds for two weeks and spending the money on scratch tickets.