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_refugee_'s analogy is pretty spot on. I'm not trying to insult you, and I'm not kidding when I say this, I'm trying to help you. It's obvious that you care deeply about this, and there is some truth in what you say and it can be hard for some people to hear. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't be saying it, in fact it probably means the opposite. But it's all in how and when. Try a new approach. There's more than one way to skin a cat. -sorry, I couldn't resist. --what an odd phrase though, does anybody know the origin?