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I feel like if I hadn't faced some of what I did, I would not have considered what I wanted so thoroughly, and so run the risk of "going along" with something instead of following my own desires. It's hard for me to articulate my emotions and desires. I often don't know what I want, and just "go along" with the situation that presents itself to see how it goes. In those cases I am interested enough to be curious, but otherwise a passive actor. I don't want to be a passive actor in my life. Like - I wouldn't have done it because it was something I knew I wanted, I would have just done it because, well, that's the next step in the big ol' Path.