1) My wife got a crazy 1-star review from someone on Yelp. She looked up the person and had no patients with a name anywhere close to the (very obviously normal) name. She messaged the person and said "Hi, sorry you had such a bad time - are you sure you're reviewing the correct business, since you appear to live 90 miles away?" The person wrote back saying, and I quote, "No the review is correct but I am deleting it because I hate negativity."

2) Yelp is evil. They totally shake businesses down. I want them to burn.

3) HOLY FUCK WAZE. Back between Apple Maps and Google Maps for iOS 5, we tried a few apps to not get lost. One of them was Waze. It will tell you to wander off on a side street for candy. And then it will give you an address that isn't where you're going. And then when you sit there for a while wondering where the fuck you are, it gives you more candy. Meanwhile it encourages texting while driving.

4) BUT SERIOUSLY, HOLY FUCK WAZE. And then Google bought them and integrated their engine into its traffic configuration. And now you can be driving merrily up the 405 at 50 mph following Google Maps and suddenly your phone says "In a quarter mile take the Sunset Blvd exit" and it doesn't matter that you're going 50 and you're 6 lanes away from the Sunset exit, all of a sudden half the cars in traffic veer over and nearly kill each other trying to get off the goddamn freeway RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

5) NO, BUT I MEAN, HOLY FUCK WAZE. If Google self-driving cars are going to use Waze to figure out how to get around, we won't need Skynet. It'll be fucking Maximum Overdrive only voluntary. Sweet merciful jesus I have never met an app so dangerously sucktastic.