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rule 0 of wage's house is be naked all the time
rule 1 is can i borrow your car
rule 2 is if you don't have work today, you get to clean the dishes
rule 3 is i am allowed to blast music between noon and eight and i don't give a fuck if you work night shift cause so do i
rule 4 is watch the pressure cooker, nobody wants to die in a hail of bean shrapnel
rule 5 is wipe down the griddle when you're done
rule 6 is don't turn off the blacklight or the lava lamp
rule 7 is close the lid
rule 8 is goddamn it peter stop doing the dishes you aren't any good at this i'll do it
rule 9 is goddamn it peter
edit: in practice i break rule 3 cause my headphones are pretty great