The last time I did any programming the whole world was using C. We, of course, learned Turbo Pascal. Towards the end I was just going for a clean compile. I didn't even give a shit if the fucker ran or not. I still pulled a C.

Then I took an arcane grad-level course in stress analysis in composite materials. How do you do stress analysis in composite materials? You compile Fortran for the DEC Alpha in the basement. In 1998. Fuckin' Fortran.

Sometimes Pro Tools gets its preferences upset. Does it tell you its preferences are upset? No, that would be too logical. Does it tell you that you need to trash preferences and start over? no, that would be too helpful. What does it tell you?

I used to have to use a program called EASE to model rooms. This meant assembling the polygons - in 3D space - that make up a room. All of the room. The polygons must be contiguous - no air spaces. And you had to make sure that they were "facing" the right way - if you drew your polygon clockwise (remember - 3D space - Windows NT 3.51 - 1280x1024 screen) it was inside out and no longer "sealed" the room.

EASE would make a sound like breaking glass and throw up a WinNT-era gif of a burning computer.

And that's why I don't program.