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This couldn't be more indistinguishable from satire without actually being satire.
On a side note, I've used paper straws, and have been pleasantly surprised - much like a lot of other information coming out of this org, that "don't work" and "fall apart instantly" are bald-faced lies.
They should have just had the subject line read "FUCK the planet!".
It would have been more honest.
Point her at the maths lessons available at www.khanacademy.org - she will be dynamite by the time she's done there!