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kantos




This is not my first account: add 168 days.


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member for: 357 days
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kantos  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: May 17, 2017

School

This past semester: The curve. Praise whatever be. Wow.

Continuing where I left off: My father was kind enough to sit me down and talk over what life looks like if I discontinued schooling in terms of what I'd be taking on, alongside what I'd have to afford in order to continue living the way I am. Long and short of it, a wake up and smell the coffee moment. I knew I could afford to continue the way I am... if I didn't put resources into insurance or any of those rainy-day expenses.... barely.

Catching up to present: Discovering the extent of the curve in my courses in addition to a few comments from the family's matriarch set me straight. I sorta realized I hadn't been fully taking on OftenBen's advice of 'Take what you want and make the university turn it into a degree for you'. Found an easier route than before to graduation with the news that my physics credits from HS count as credits, but not credit hours (ugh). With this news, I'm not so much married to the idea of a physical sciences component of the degree. Instead, I can shift other courses around to replace and further my way outta here.

Extracurricular

So the plan be more of an impact in my community is slowly stumbling forward. Starting to make weekly calls to people from a personal growth workshop I volunteer at in order to get closer to others. Also, attending near all the events offered (which aren't too much, in fact) including working at the Mental Health Association's Luncheon for my region - again! (I was invited back) Due to its proximity to the anniversary of Pulse last year, it's no surprise they'll be recognizing the event this year. This will be demonstrated by honoring 60~ of the first responders that night which they could get a hold of. In my eyes, there's a heartwarming gesture planned for having each first responder to Pulse seated at unique tables of 10. My minds eye sees them receiving attention and compassion upon arrival to their seats. We'll see how that goes.

Separately, waiting for my flight to NY to occur. Gathered some reading material for the weekend on geothermal energy. Slowly prepping for the internship.

Headspace

Last comment here was around the place I was in after a peer's suicide. Grieving took longer than I thought. The thoughts of 'why?' lead me to weird existential questions I had myself. Still developing my own thoughts. Projecting them where ever I went, I came across 'The Philosophy of Attack on Titan' in a suggested watch while rewatching AoT for Season 2. The series regarding Rick and Morty was engaging enough (the Szechuan Sauce cliff hanger had me searching for theories, naturally). The content creator really seems to like Camus in comparison to other existentialist thinkers. Perhaps it was the presentation, or whatever, but I have some of Camus's essays in paperback coming my way this week via amazon.

kantos  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 29, 2017

    And hey... I'm glad something I wrote had an effect on you! I'm honored.

Of course. I use hubski as a vent for thoughts I don't express openly much, so they have quite a bit of time to marinate in my brain. On the flipside, I really appreciate what others write on here as well. Yourself, lil, kb, and ob got the hamster wheel spinning in my head a lot - granted the little I know. If anything, thank you.

kantos  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Should I take the job?

    Take the job. You are already a world traveler, and this is an amazing opportunity to see parts of the US and Canada that people take for-granted. It would make a great portfoilio piece for you, and could potentially open up other opportunities while you're on the road.

Seconded. Also, it's an empowering feeling making the money itself, which served me in motivation to seek out more after. At the risk of sounding cold with these contradictions:

------

    - I have less than 100 hours of driving under my belt (this one mainly stresses my mom out, but it's a little nerve-racking for me too)

THIS is an opportunity to bust the nerve and earn the experience to settle the nerve.

    - I'll be away from my boyfriend this whole time :( He said he can visit if i'm 6-7h drive away... we could probably make it work but it's shitty.

    &

    - Summer plans go down the drain. Probably won't make it to my friend's wedding (the 2k expense was worth it if it's a 1 month trip, but spending 1500 for a week is way over my budget). No fun times in Montreal with my friends. And some (free) work engagements I'll have to abandon.

Not going to smother you with empty platitudes here. It's a downer, and something to weigh as a worthy sacrifice on your own.

    - Maybe no burning man? ( I don't know why that's on my mind since I don't even have tickets yet)

There will be more, and think of the stories you can share with others of your trip once you're back. Plus, you could use this job to seek out other people that attend Burning Men (?) to meet up with next time around.

    - Applied for this grant with this cool project i'm part of, but i can't be employed to get it. So they'd have to find someone else and start over. Feel bad ditching people mid-way...

Refer to opening sentence. :)

Buying the album shortly with the intent to make it my go-to car/study music. Went through the album a few times already when I first saw the notification. For whatever reason, Helen was the first song to play and it's stuck with me a bit... really looking forward to more listens. Saving this post for later, after the songs are ingrained in my brain so I can better appreciate the bonus content you've provided in listing the songs. I'm sure there's much more praise to come. I had a goal of saving up my badges... but guess I'll have to start again with that tomorrow, hehe.

I like referring to johnnyFive as j5. One of the first things I thought of seeing the username choice. There's a coder for Artix Entertainment, put into the game as an NPC, that goes by j6, so it's a bit of an nostalgic thing.

Mentioned Forever Labs in an outing. Seeing these people again Saturday. Now I have a video to show them more. Woot!

Totally not related, y'all's kids are adorable.

kantos  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: What can be learned?

Thought this was a photo I had in my human geography text book before the Hubski sticker loaded in. That's a gorgeous view. I remember things being hectic in your previous post/comments. Hope you're able to build some moments if peace to bring with you along the way.

Also, what's that square patch of grass doing in the grid at your feet?

kantos  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: What are y'all playing this weekend?

I don't have that when winning, moreso when losing. I've made small goals for each game to achieve which keeps me sane and focused. Fighting uphill battles can be frustrating and anxiety producing, though.

kantos  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: MeetUpSki Location Location Location

Orlando, or Central Florida in general. Will be in Buffalo, NY for most of July.

kantos  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Hubski, what is your cathartic song?

Condolences for your loss.

A couple off my 'feeling down' mixtape.

For no conscious reason yet, I couple these two off 'The Heist' together:

Last two are more of the "I'm making bad decisions and I feel bad" (like listening to Macklemore /s) playlist rather than the "I'm getting hit with bad things and I feel bad" list.

EDIT: Elliott Smith could easily make the playlist. It's been too long since I've listened to him for any specific song to stick out, though.

kantos  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: What are y'all playing this weekend?

Nah, they're just making enough product so they can get their own fix, too. Did you ever follow the competitive scene? I swear that's what really got me into it. My only peeve is there's no real sense of fan loyalty since all teams are based in the same area, meaning bandwagonning is where the masses thrall to. Other than that, it only serves the hype. Their promo team is fire. They out-sourced this piece:

Most promo clips are outsourced, from what I read. Even some modeling of champions, IIRC. The thing that tickles me is the studio which created the piece shown is Studio Mir (which did AtLA and LoK).

kantos  ·  link  ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 12, 2017

Sitting on my ass with my grades. I've made the semi-solid plan of taking both summer and fall semesters off. I want this break from school bad. Applying to local places after exams so I can pay rent.

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