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I appreciate it! It might be awhile until I post another short story, but in the meantime I will be doing my best to post poems every once a week or so.
Discussion: The lack of information pertaining to why my character truly wanted to commit suicide was intentional. This was my attempt to show how there can be people, whether they are family, friends, or strangers, around us and not provide the information about wanting to end their lives and suddenly do, leaving us in shock. This is usually the situation in a lot of suicide cases, sadly.
The second thing is that I wanted to give plenty of space for the reader to dwell on and attempt to understand where the narrator is coming from based on the events before finding out the narrator will commit suicide. Granted it was a bit of a stretch because only a couple of days worth of the narrator's life is shown with the addition of some brief recollections. Nevertheless, the information I chose to embed all have some deeper meaning behind it--at least most of the information.
I hope that answers your question!
All of the responses so far definitely touch what I have in mind as my preference. Free-writing is a great way to just jot down what is on the top of your head. When I free-write I first choose a topic or an idea. When I start, I do not stop to think about what to write. It does not have to be coherent or perfect grammar. When I am satisfied with my free-written piece, I go back and edit and rewrite the chunks and move them around to make it coherent.
That said, you may have a different preference but want to incorporate some ideas from my method and from others who commented. Point being, it will take time to find what works best for you. Good luck, cheers.
I will now have to check those poems out! I find it fascinating how poems can achieve such strength.
I look forward to reading your updates. I do not wish to pressure you at all. Pressure obscures the true self-evaluations such as the updates you might write regarding how memorizing the poems affect you. So update on your own terms! Yes, I agree with you how reading and writing only helps us get better. In fact, I have posted a poem on this website very recently. I wrote it when I was an undergrad while taking a poetry course. I must admit, it is the only poetry class I have ever taken. I am by no means highly educated in the world of poetry--only by what I have read and observed on my own and of course by what I have learned in the only poetry class I've taken. As of now, one other person seems to have enjoyed it. I appreciate any feedback!
Jack Gilbert is who we focused on in that class I mentioned. I am very much inspired by him and I have a feeling you will definitely enjoy his work. Until then, cheers!
I think this is an interesting experiment! Poetry is such a great way to express a thought- I find it powerful and moving. I write poems when I can. I still have much to learn but I'd say I am decent.
I feel that doing this will let you exerience things quite differently. Depending on the diversity of each poem, you might develop some pattern or theme in your daily activities based on your conceived perceptions. It would be great if you posted updates with descriptions of how memorizing more and more poems affect you.
One of my all-time favorites is Tear It Down by Jack Gilbert. I highly recommend reading his work if you haven't done so!
I appreciate your feedback! I do agree with you and understand where you're coming from regarding getting a bit wordy by over describing simple things. My intention was to do just that because the idea here is nothing is as simple as it seems. But then again, if I am not careful enough, it will sort of disrupt the flow of the poem which is what happened for you.
I welcome all criticism, so do not worry at all. The only way we get better is if we listen to what others say rather than getting defensive. Again, thank you for the feedback and I am glad you enjoyed the poem!