I'm in the kitchen with my parents when the post arrives. It's not even our new kitchen, it's all yellow like the old one and the lighting is dim. I open up my post and discover all these forms, like from the Central Applications Office (all red and green on white paper) but their stranger then that... My name is spelt all wrong and 'all over the place' for a start and I realise it's part joke because it reads 'be good' or something even though it's spelt all crazy and long! There's some stuff about an ex of mine and some other stuff I can't quite remember...

But... it gets stranger....

because while we're standing there fussing over these (or whatever is going on:-/ ) there is knock at the kitchen door (I think) and I look up to see A BIG JAR OF HELMANS MAYONNAISE peering round the door at us!!!!! It's as big as a grown man and as as wide as two trees and it looks very, very shifty looking!!

even without a face....

So then the lights start doing crazy stuff and the BJM that's peering at us from the dark of the hallway kind of just...disappears off somewhere. There's suddenly the noise of running tap water from the downstairs bathroom (small, with a toilet and sink). We all go out there to see what it is (or who it is...) and dad pushes back the door... I'm expecting to see a big jar of mayonnaise washing it's non-existant hands at the sink...but there's nobody there!!

Some more stuff happened but that's all gone now. I woke up feeling very creeped out...not by the tap but by the jar peering round the door....wtf?? O.O