Back at the bar, five hours later: 1. I gave my 35-student graduate class a huge exam. USE ALL AIDS - course book, dictionary, computer, cheat sheets, and as a last resort, your own brains. After an hour of self-struggle, I said they could all get in groups and share their answers and argue for the best answer, etc. Here's how I see it: --- The final is my last chance to make them think about and review the course material 3. Just as hearing about Aspergers and brain cancer helps kleinbl00 put his troubles in perspective, reading about kleinbl00's troubles makes mine seem manageable. 4. I'm at the condo until Saturday packing up my office and saying goodbye to my 22-year mid-life marriage. Note: If you are unhappy, figure out a way to communicate it to the spousal unit. They might want to know. Don't wait and then say, "I just realized I've been unhappy for 15 years." It's not very convincing. You can't backdate unhappiness. I said, "Well if you just realized it, then I guess you must have been happy." 4. Note to self: Let's make 2016 a year without sarcasm. Hey rezzeJ, when you post your 2016 goals menagerie 2015 here, I'll put that at the top of my list: Avoid bitterness and sarcasm. And Posture, always posture. and while I'm shouting out to rezzeJ - Do a Goals: What Have We Learned post. After all, this is hubski:
2. After the exam, they still wanted me to come to the class party tonight! --- I don't give a shit about marks, I only care about learning.
Point (4) could be granted if one didn't know what happiness looked like, and therefore mistook boredom, contentment, passivity, etc, for happiness. Of course the only logical way out of that trap is to discover what happiness does look like, which would require a life altering event, I suppose. So, either something happened, or "I realized" is an excuse to avoid some other issue that the person either doesn't know how or doesn't care to discuss. Good luck with the off season. Hopefully it involves some time in Key West.
Good point. Also happiness is hard to pin down. Does somewhat happy become unhappy when a life-altering happiness moment occurs? Maybe it does. But what if the life-altering happiness moment was equally delusional and subsequently recognized as such? Does that mean the unhappiness gets rerouted into the happiness track in the pin-ball machine of life? So many questions. "He has ever but slenderly known himself." - Regan, of her father King Lear (I, i, 291)
Drawing a logic chart of matters of emotion is obviously a fool's errand. I was mainly trying to subtly point out that the miserable tend to create problems for themselves over and over, and their attempts to explain their own behavior always seem thin. Happiness isn't a perpetual state of being; it's a temporary emotion that can wax and wane like all emotions. Defining a good life by whether or not we're "happy" is probably a great source of unhappiness, I'd guess. I'll take fulfilled, challenged, etc, over happy 100% of the time.
Damn. Do you maybe wanna move here and become my teacher? It's my biggest frustration with education: Exams where you basically just regurtitate shit you crammed into your brain. so much wasted time... But I don't know how to deal with people without sarcasm! Don't take that from me!USE ALL AIDS - course book, dictionary, computer, cheat sheets, and as a last resort, your own brains.
Avoid bitterness and sarcasm
If sarcasm serves you well and promotes more closeness, love, and understanding keep it. If it drives away the people you want to drive away, keep it. If it makes you feel superior, indignant, and vengeful - you might want to take another look at it sometime in the future I also gave my students a final message. The first item is "Surround yourself with people who care about your feelings." If you are able to do that, there is less need for sarcasm. Oh hey -- I posted the final message here somewhere. The comments from the hubskiverse were EXCELLENT! Found it.
I sometimes find sarcasm to be an effective tool to being productive. In my mind I'll pile up all the reasons I shouldn't do something, so I'll make a mental sarcastic comment about how little anyone else cares if I fail at something utterly unimportant to anyone but myself, and then I go do it. Let's make 2016 a year without sarcasm.
I know. Sarcasm is so so much fun. And so easy, especially to use with people that who are randomly hurtful, but actually sort of pathetic, and don't get the joke. OK, let's see... EDIT: Avoid sarcasm unless it moves in the direction of goodness. no, wait... EDIT: Use sarcasm with the intention of hurting people if the target probably won't get it anyway. No, I stand by my future avoid sarcasm resolution. New Goal: Avoid sarcasm. It creates a dark interaction palette; however, write funny sarcastic attacks down and use in future one-person show. YES!
I'm thrilled right now. This catering company I have a very temporary gig with right now just had a training session. We're going over the training manual, don't sexually harass anyone, don't use your phones, wear gloves when handling food, etc. Halfway through this completely mundane document is a little history of the company over two and a half pages written by the owner. And it stinks. Typos, grammatical errors, random changes in tense and voice, and not to mention that the owner lapses into this bro-babble where he mentions having "totally crushed it, raking in sick tips" back in the day, and about his adventures as a Dead Head. It's... a bit embarrassing. So I can't get the idea out of my head that someone oughta fix these things. It wouldn't even take long. And it occurs to me, why don't I do it? So yesterday I strolled into his office and pitched my services as a copyeditor. And he agreed! I'll be getting twenty bucks an hour to fix this thing! I can't believe my time spent reading usage manuals and dictionaries will finally come in handy.
Did he realize he bro'd out the manual? How do you go about telling your boss he's a dumbdumb?
You're right, it was a little delicate. At one point I drew a parallel between Jefferson getting feedback from some of the founding fathers on his first draft of the Delcaration of Independence. Thankfully he's a gracious guy, said he knew his weakness was writing. He was very cool, very chill about it. I mean, he was a Dead Head.
He's going to shit himself when he realizes this project took you eighty hours. He was very cool, very chill about it. I mean, he was a Dead Head.
lol.
Today, as I was driving to "work" from home through thoroughly apocalyptic weather, I reflected on the level of drama that has become baseline this year. For starters, my day off should be tomorrow, not yesterday, but since our challenge department fucked up so royally that we need to reshoot an entire day they wrapped us all and told us to come back Wednesday. Which shouldn't have been surprising but it was. I'm not used to working with incompetents of such magnitude. Also discovered this week that my suite-mate - you know, the person on the other side of that door in your motel room that goes nowhere unless that other person opens theirs and then suddenly party time! - is the Executive In Charge. The very one I filed a grievance with over payment. The one who knows I ratted her out to my union. I discovered this because she chose my after-work chill-out time (9:30pm until Midnight) to loudly and petulantly fire people on speakerphone. So when I called the union the next morning (over yet another issue) I did it in the bathroom with the exhaust fan on. Someone she fired the previous day she did so because he flashed a gun in a fight with some of the camera assistants. So we've had sheriffs sitting around, in case he decides to make something of it. It's that show. Also, all the PAs are surly because the budget shortfalls are such that they cut them back to 5 days, instead of 6. Which means (A) they're not making time and a half on their sixth day and (B) they're sitting around in cabins with no internet, no wifi and no cell service with 8 to a room and communal showers, getting drunk. Pennywise and pound foolish; apparently the half million dollars worth of rock and gravel we've dropped on the roads to make them passable up here will have to come up again when we're gone which pretty much dwarfs the expense of paying an army of PAs their measly $225 for a sixth day. The nice thing is I was able to go home for my daughter's 3rd birthday, which surprised her and my wife, which was super-nice... but also meant that I could deal with our bullshit contractor, who decided that removing and replacing a hot water heater and spending 10 hours replacing a subfloor is $5200 worth. I've got a line item that says "plumbing, labor & materials, $1650". When I called him up to say "Uhhh, I need this broken down more granularly because I need to defend it to not only the property manager who is reimbursing me but also the insurance company" he got all defensive and said "pay what you want, I'm sick of your negative energy." Then when I insisted "well, yeah, I'm not sure how you've got 38 hours at $75 an hour to strip linoleum when you had two guys for three hours but also, I really and truly do need to bounce this off two hostile agencies to get you paid" he doubled down with "you know, we're all really sick of your attitude." But that's okay because when I called the property manager they've done a turnabout and have decided they owe us nothing because how were they to know that when a hot water heater explodes you need to clean the water up off the floor so it doesn't rot wood? And then she hung up on me. So now I have to get her boss up to speed (and threaten legal action) because getting my house back to "move in ready" while it was being taken care of them has cost me $10k so far. I shotgunned invoices at the property manager and the insurance company anyway and told the contractor I had done so, wish me luck. Prick. Meanwhile the car has been through two dead batteries and a tire just getting to and from here, which pretty much indicates how much it wants to find a new home. Unfortunately there's nothing worth driving. Nothing. All new cars suck. All of them. Except the new 'vette which not only costs $70k it has no back seat. Which I kind of need now that I have a three year old. Featured here, wandering around the stripped-out guts of a future birth center. Thing is, I'm so shell-shocked by all the bullshit that I haven't even internalized that a solid years' worth of combat and bullshit is finally materializing into an actual structure with actual keys that we can actually bill for at some point in the future. Probably because at the end of the day, the only thing I could really do is get everyone to the table and hope it doesn't cost too much money. Moving cost us about 25 grand. Between the new furnace and the bullshit and the movers (who, by the way, aren't covering ANY of the boxes they lost or ANY of the damage to our shit, with the exception of $300 worth of thrashing they did to our couch) I've been at sea for two months now. On the plus side, I sold two of the last three gadgets from my Todd Soundelux adventure (and the last one is worthless). All told, I spent about $14k to make about $18k. Or, my company did. So my company is gonna buy one hot shit PC for Pro Tools 'cuz I've got a movie to mix when all this bullshit is done. And about 500 photos from the trip up that I need to ingest. And somewhere, some time, I need to finish the fucking book. My wife pointed out that we have six entire months until I need to head back down to Los Angeles. I pointed out that I will have burned two entire months on this bullshit show up in the mountains. But hey. My mother in law has a friend whose 26-year-old adopted son with Aspberger's is dying of metastasized brain cancer and his 22-year-old sociopathic adopted brother won't even come to visit. Nobody here is a sociopath; nobody here has metastasized brain cancer. There's a roof over our heads, there's money in the bank and the arc bends toward success. So.f'n.tired of 2015. I live in dread of the idea that the year hasn't had the last of me.
Damn, I have a feeling my 2016 might be like your 2015. Everyone: Hey mk, how is X going? mk: X has been going differently every day for the last 3 months, but the general pattern makes me cautiously optimistic. Also, there should be a contracting service that charges twice as much and takes twice as long, but actually does it. They would always be booked.
Tsk. That shit sounds rough as hell. I'm hoping the next year goes better for you. I shared this sentiment with you when I was car shopping. Took me two years and over 25 test drives before I pulled the trigger on something. I got something that works great for me. Hopefully you find something that works for you. Worse comes to worse, you have a sweet as bike you can use to commute. Good luck getting groceries though.Unfortunately there's nothing worth driving. Nothing. All new cars suck. All of them.
Yeah, Francesca developed an irritating habit her last week in LA: she won't turn off. Turn the key, kill the killswitch, nuthin'. Much discussion with the geniuses in Nuremberg has led to the hypothesis that there's a short behind the dashboard. Which I need to waterproof like hell because this is the kind of place where half an inch of standing water builds up on the freeways (been there, done that, didn't hit anyone this morning). I, of course, was looking forward to dealing with this in my very own garage but then all the stuff that was supposed to go in the den ended up in the garage because... Fuckin' 49 days ago. Know when the carpet is going in? TODAY. That is, if the carpet guy ever shows up. My wife tells me he's currently an hour late.
I'm getting used to automatics and CVT. I think I made the right choice in the little Subaru.Meanwhile the car has been through two dead batteries and a tire just getting to and from here, which pretty much indicates how much it wants to find a new home. Unfortunately there's nothing worth driving. Nothing. All new cars suck. All of them. Except the new 'vette which not only costs $70k it has no back seat. Which I kind of need now that I have a three year old.
I started a new job in August and they just offered me a promotion. That feels good. I would be the strategic account guy for the Southeast. It would mean a lot of travel. It comes with a raise, but is the money worth the time away from home? I'm not sure. Also, I should hear back by Friday regarding the med device gig. Also, we are on track with our startup to launch Q1. My good friend and president of the startup is kicking major ass. The guy is unstoppable.
Thanks. I have been playing with an alternate layout of Hubski where the stuff on top is in a column to the left of the feed/post. Our intention was to have dynamic content in the left column that related to the page that you were on. This column might have information like that in the 'more' link, maybe some comments from your chatter, etc. At this point, I am not loving it. The single column format has some serious limitations, but it makes for a cleaner UI, and IMO the pressure is a positive influence on our design choices.
"Good morning" is not a topic. It's a salutation. ;) Let me throw a few your way. Do you have a dream car? If so, what is it and why? Can you sum up, in a single sentence, why Elvis as an individual had more talent than all four Beatles combined? How do you drink your coffee and why? What's with hipsters and plaid and shouldn't they know that's my thing? Cats vs Dogs, which side wins? BAM! You're welcome.I'm out of topics right now. :D
I love realistic dream cars. The fact that they're so tantalizingly close to achievable makes them that much more desirable. I see a McLaren at a cruise in, I think "Oh. That's nice and pretty" and then don't think much more of it. I see a decent looking Ford Falcon though and the dial on my lustometer pegs in the red. The fact that I could almost get one if I wanted one is what makes it so exciting.
Yeah, those driverless cars seem pretty cool! I'm not that good at driving and I'd rather pay attention to the tunes coming out of the radio rather than the road. Ehhh, I don't know. I don't like the Beatles, and I don't know much about Elvis' music. (giggle) Is that a quote from somewhere? BTW, hipsters are a rare sight here in my town...Do you have a dream car? If so, what is it and why?
Can you sum up, in a single sentence, why Elvis as an individual had more talent than all four Beatles combined?
What's with hipsters and plaid and shouldn't they know that's my thing?
I would absolutely love to hear about you listening to Elvis Presley in your self driving car as you cruise around town trying to figure out who is and isn't a hipster. It'd be an amazing way to spend a summer night. This is probably one of my favorite Elvis Songs. It's actually a cover of Big Momma Thornton. Both versions are absolutely amazing and a blast to listen to.
I'll offer my thoughts. Aston Martin V8 Vantage. Maybe six years old and 20,000 miles on it. Because James Bond. Of course I'd love a brand new DB10, but a used V8 Vantage could almost be in my price range if I was very careful about saving money for years. The insurance and maintenance, though, not so much. But it's close enough to make dreaming about it fun. But lately I've realized if I had a spare $60,000, I'd rather spend it on something like this rather than a second car: http://www.mountainmadness.com/adventures/expeditions/antarctica/vinson#dates-and-pricesDo you have a dream car? If so, what is it and why?
You have good taste. I have a huge laundry list of cars I would love to own, and fortunately my current car is on that list, but one of the things that they all have in common is that they're all affordable, if not practical. I think the most expensive car that I would want would probably be either a Cadillac CTS-V or ATS-V. My list is fleshed out with more realistic cars though, like '80s GM G-Bodies, Japanese sports cars, classic American Muscle, etc. If only I had the money and a place to put them all, right? This here though is my ultimate dream car. A four eyed, fifth gen El Camino. Don't judge me. That said, mountain climbing sounds like a hell of an adventure. Have you done something like that before?
The biggest I've done is 5000' non-technical hiking in mild fall weather staying outside only one night. So Vinson Massif would be a whole different kind of animal. Sort of like cars, it's fun to dream about things that are just out of reach. Next summer I plan to do some longer backpacking (even just 2-3 nights) to work toward some small expedition, beginner glacier climbing in the Cascades in Washington in 2017. There are guided climbs there for under $2000. Still not cheap, but it'd be good long term experience. I like to joke that I can't wait until I'm old enough to buy a Cadillac. They make some great looking cars, but I feel like I need to be edging toward retirement before buying one. What are you driving now? I'm within two years of replacing my car. I'd love to get something great, but owning a single car in a winter climate limits my options. It needs to be very practical.
I'm not much of a hiker. I usually just go a few miles in a forest preserve, head home, and call it a day. A small expedition sounds like it would be a lot of fun though, especially if that's what you like to do to get away from things. Paying for it though. Hmm. That's a toughie. I don't know if I'd do that. As for me, I drive a 2013 FR-S. It came down between that and a Ford Mustang GT. In the end, I liked how the FR-S handled better and I couldn't justify having a high horsepower car like the Mustang if I'm never gonna use it. I test drove a lot of good used sports cars, but was worried about how well they were taken care of. I also test drove a lot of standard commuter cars, like the Ford Focus and the Kia Forte. In the end, I figured I should buy a car new for warranty reasons and knowing it'd be treated right and reliable. At that point, it wasn't much of a logical stretch to convince myself that spending an extra $4k on something a bit more fun would be reasonable. After all, if I have to drive it every day, I might as well enjoy it, huh?
I'll take a mimosa. I'm just counting down the days until the end of the semester. I have one paper to go. And then I head down to Miami for three weeks with the girlfriend :)
Hey, everyone! I don't have any new or exciting news this week. I guess. I have been seeing this guy again, this guy who I had dated over the summer - from May to August, essentially. After we broke up I hightailed out of there and cut all contact, so it's been a 3-month gap without really talking to each other. Just a fair bit of Facebook stalking. Things have actually been wonderful for the past 3 weeks we have been re-dating. Really phenomenally wonderful. Of course, let us see if that continues, but you know what, right now I'm stupidly happy and don't care and I had someone to drink with after Thanksgiving and I have someone to cuddle with when (IF!, considering the weather right now) the snow comes. lil I know yesterday I was just blindingly glaringly awesomely happy. That is how I have been feeling a lot lately. I ran another 5k and my time was 33:30, which is great because it's just under 11 minutes/mile. My next goal is to run one in 30 minutes or less. My running friends and I have resolved not to do any more 5ks until maybe around March (the next one coming up in our area involves a polar bear plunge and fuck that, none of us are on that level). I think I may be able to achieve that goal by March. I am moving this upcoming weekend, to my Big Adult Single Living On Her Own Because Maybe Hates People Apartment. Mostly what I have learned from this most recent move (this will be my 7th move in the 6 years since I graduated college and left student housing) is that i own nothing. I'm pretty okay with that, there's a paucity of boxes to move and they're mostly full of clothes and smaller boxes. I am going to need some bookshelves, though. I enjoy reading about how everyone is doing and hope, for those with the shit, that things go better. Contentedly yours, ehb.
I got a chuckle out of this part. I'm paranoid about everyone knowing everything about me, so I end up not using social media at all. Of course, it depends on how much I share, though people get skeptical if all they see in my profile is nothing. I'm pretty sensitive when it comes to people, so all the information I need is right there when I interact with them. Aww, I'm so happy for you! Love it when people are in love! :3 I used to run for quite some time, then I found out I have a problem in my feet and the doctor told me I can't run anymore. Since then, I took up cycling. I can relate to this. I still live with my dad (and looks like I'll be here for a couple more years). I really wish I had my own place.After we broke up I hightailed out of there and cut all contact, so it's been a 3-month gap without really talking to each other. Just a fair bit of Facebook stalking.
Of course, let us see if that continues, but you know what, right now I'm stupidly happy and don't care and I had someone to drink with after Thanksgiving and I have someone to cuddle with when (IF!, considering the weather right now) the snow comes.
I know yesterday I was just blindingly glaringly awesomely happy. That is how I have been feeling a lot lately.
I am moving this upcoming weekend, to my Big Adult Single Living On Her Own Because Maybe Hates People Apartment.
I currently have a set of 27 poems about witches. I want to work them into a book, I think. I am pretty sure. I need some people to read them, maybe. They aren't finished. But I really, really like several of them, and if I am honest, most are at minimum, solid. And I know I have enough ideas and material for more. I decided, after this year's poetry successes, if I could get my shit together and produce a manuscript/write a book of poems all on my ownsome, and (eventually/hopefully/whatever/maybe/I don't even know) get it published somehow, in chap or real book format (HAHAHA), then it's kind of definitive proof I don't need an MFA, and on top of that, I really am kind of over jumping through a million stupid hoops in order to prove to a bunch of judge-y academics that yes, I am a good enough writer that you should allow me to shell out tens of thousands of dollars each year to go to your program. I belong to a group on Facebook which is basically "People Applying for MFAs This Year." Right now the hot conversation is about what font people submitted their writing sample in. How they feel about their fonts. Which fonts are friendly, which aren't. Which is the best font to submit applications in. I'm like, people, your heads are way too far up your asses, and really, use the most basic font. Use Times New Roman or use Arial but for gods' sake your writing should be strong enough that it completely overpowers whatever font you are using. Your writing should be so great that no one gives a shit about your Times New Roman font. Your writing should be so great that they don't even fucking notice your god-damn font. And they all hate Courier New, too. They're academic animals. I think they are the kind of people that think their writing will save the world. Two quotes about poetry, since I'm pontificating: (Danez Smith, here ) of course my poems won’t change the world. I say yes of course my poems won’t change the world. (Italian poet Patrizia Cavalli) Writing is really great, but writing isn’t everything. Writing isn’t going to change the world. We might inspire somebody to change the world, but sometimes I can’t give a fuck about your little punk ass poems. I can’t even give a fuck about my poems. Sure, I might write a great poem, and it might, in theory, save somebody when they find it. But a poem does not stop a bullet. A poem does not pay the rent. A poem does not keep a police officer’s hands off of a twelve-year-old-girl.
Someone told me
Gotta write a 10 page paper for tomorrow on ultrasound imaging, and then I'm done with classes for at least half a year. I feel like a world ahead of August-me, both in my research progress and neuroscience understanding. I have more ideas for next year than time, but I've just started taking an undergraduate under my wing, so maybe that will help. It looks like the Morale Menagerie check-ins have stopped, but oddly enough, when I stopped thinking about them so much, things improved! Science and cooking have been going much better since my move (made some mulled wine last night), though drawing has been postponed to 2016.
I got into a conversation with a friend the other day that happened to end more up on the philosophical end (that's been happening a lot lately, it needs to stop). I don't know what started it but we ended up talking about materialism and fulfilment, depression and therapy shopping. We talked about what a person owns and how they take care of their possessions can say just as much about their character as how they treat the people in their lives. Both instances say different things of course, but they're both just as telling. Anyhow, I have a bunch of toys from when I was growing up that I swore I'd never part with. Thing is though, they've been sitting in storage for forever at this point, untouched. I think I'm going to sell them on Craigslist and put the money towards savings. They should go to people who will appreciate them. Even if they're in the hands of kids that'll eventually bust them up, it's better than them sitting somewhere collecting dust. Similarly, I'm gonna call some of the antique shops and bookstores in my area, see if I can't sell them some of my books. The past two winters have been very dry and I haven't been able to maintain a good humidity in the room where I keep them. I'm concerned about their binding rotting away. I feel like if I can't take good and proper care of them, they should go to someone who could. Unfortunately I know the game here. I'm only going to get an insulting fraction of what they're worth when I sell them. :/
I've been going through a lot of the same things. Lately I've had the feeling that I have too much stuff. I almost feel trapped by the things I own. To sell them feels like wasted effort since I'll never get the value I think they're worth; to throw them out would be physically wasteful; and to hold onto them feels like a waste of space. Seems like the only way to win was to never own them in the first place.
I think you would have loved being part of that conversation that I had. I honestly can't give you any advice on what you should do. Heaven forbid I say "Sell some of your stuff" only for you to regret it. If you're undecided now though, just be patient. It probably won't hurt to wait a while longer until your more than sure about what you want to do. Even then, you'll probably have regrets. I will say one thing though . . . Don't. They're things. They can't exert control on you any more than a rock on the ground can. All they can do is sit there unless you decide otherwise. Value them, respect them, and treat them well, because it's the right thing to do. At the end of the day though, remember that they're just things. If you want to, PM me sometime and I'll tell you a story about my car.I almost feel trapped by the things I own.
I may have exaggerated a bit. Don't worry, my clutter is far from keeping me up at night! Possession is just one of the things I spend a lot of time thinking about. I think it can reveal a lot about one's outlook on life and their lifestyle. How much does one hold onto, and for what reasons, if there are any reasons at all? PMing you about your car, in case you don't want to share the story publicly.
I'm glad to hear it. Personally, if it weren't for the fact that I have a ton of bookshelves, I'd be afraid I'd look like a hoarder. And we all know the only difference between a hoarder and a collector is ample shelf space. :PI may have exaggerated a bit. Don't worry, my clutter is far from keeping me up at night!
Hey barkeep, I know I'm 16, but would you make an exception? Love interest is gone. We talked at length last night around 1 and it turns out that while I knew she's asexual, what I didn't know is that she's struggling with if she's also aromantic. And even if she isn't, she's probably not ready for romantic engagements. So I did some thinking and came to the conclusion that--especially after my last relationship--I can't afford to surround myself with nonreciprocating romantic interests. I let her know, but I also said that I'd be willing to stick it out while she figures out if she's ready for a relationship. She said she didn't want to stay involved with me and ultimately just hurt me, so that's over. I've been listening to this a lot: I mean it's probably for the best given the distance. But still. So barkeep-- about that drink.
Muthafucka. 1) all these terms you krazy kidz keep throwing on romantic and sexual confusion? Cut through the bullshit. They're just a million names for "I don't know what I want" except by naming it you incorporate it into your identity. Don't humor that shit. Don't associate with that shit. Girls who don't know what they want are fine; girls toying with labeling themselves "aromantic" or "asexual" are toxic. Fuckin' nobody knows what they want until they got it. Embrace the uncertainty and condemn the tyranny of labeling the undecided. 2) NEVER let them know "you'll be there if they change their mind." NEVER. If you don't respect yourself, how can they respect you? If they can't respect you, how can they like you, let alone love you? "We both know you're treating me like shit. Here's a free 'treat me like shit' card so that we both know I'm letting you keep me stuck and unable to move on. How you like me now, honey? " She did you a favor. Mourn, wallow, move on and show some goddamn self respect next time. Know why assholes get the girls and "nice guys" get the "my boyfriend is an asshole" calls at midnight? Because the assholes know they're worth it and the nice guys think they aren't. Note that you need not be an asshole to get the girl. You need only recognize that if you have a desirable girl, you're an asshole to someone. Also note that if you were truly an asshole, you wouldn't let your girl talk to her harmless friendzoned guys... And that it is your confidence in letting her converse with the friendzoned that she finds attractive.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. What the god damn fuck does aromantic mean? Watched 500 Days of Sunshine or whatever 16 too many times? I'm in one bad mood.1) all these terms you krazy kidz keep throwing on romantic and sexual confusion? Cut through the bullshit. They're just a million names for "I don't know what I want" except by naming it you incorporate it into your identity. Don't humor that shit. Don't associate with that shit. Girls who don't know what they want are fine; girls toying with labeling themselves "aromantic" or "asexual" are toxic. Fuckin' nobody knows what they want until they got it. Embrace the uncertainty and condemn the tyranny of labeling the undecided.
Nick Cave is new to you? Dudedudedude, go to what.cd and grab Murder Ballads right now. Then grab everything else. You'll thank me later.
(hugs) Translation: "It's not you, it's me, who doesn't want a relationship with you, though I enjoyed the attention and wanted to be just friends because of the attention I get." I remember reading the timeline you posted. A month is quite a long time here in my country. People here get from meeting to dating in 2 weeks at most. Yay! (high-fives) We can't afford to do that EVER. People like that aren't good to be around. Do you know how many times I went back to the person and said "OK, I'm ready for a relationship now"? None! If they want to get back in touch with you (and especially girls), they WILL find you. When a girl wants to find a guy she's interested, she goes and gets the impossible done. See? Right there. You seem mature for your age. Perhaps older girls might suit you better (though age is not linked to maturity). I wanted to show you what happened in your case so things can go better the next time (which might be just around the corner). Good luck! :D P.S. : A parting gift:Love interest is gone.
We talked at length last night around 1 and it turns out that while I knew she's asexual, what I didn't know is that she's struggling with if she's also aromantic. And even if she isn't, she's probably not ready for romantic engagements.
So I did some thinking and came to the conclusion that--especially after my last relationship--I can't afford to surround myself with nonreciprocating romantic interests.
I let her know, but I also said that I'd be willing to stick it out while she figures out if she's ready for a relationship.
She said she didn't want to stay involved with me and ultimately just hurt me, so that's over.
Time feels like it's flying by. I swear just yesterday I was moving boxes up to my new apartment, now it's practically the new year. I've heard that for years from older friends and family but now things seem thrown into overdrive. More later. Enjoy some cuteness with your coffee (And bailey's) Alright the later bit. I think I'm starting to relax a bit at work. Being consistently told that you're doing a good job does wonders for the ol' professional confidence. I really appreciate that I work in an environment which rewards honesty, especially with regard to errors or 'complications.' (Preferred nomenclature) I am able to leave my work at work, and I am beginning to realize what a gift that is. Now that I'm getting the 'at work' stuff under control, I need to get a better handle on my not-work life. Like I work out 3-4 times a week (Stationary bike, stretching, as much bodyweight exercise as I can tolerate) but my attention to my diet has been slipping. And strangely, it's not trending towards junk food, my new bad habit is skipping meals and not noticing. I think it started when I ran out of bananas one morning and didn't have my normal smoothie, which led to several days of not having breakfast at all, which is now a chronic problem. I'll routinely work through lunch and not notice that I'm hungry until 3-4 in the afternoon. I've never been a person to exhibit disordered eating so this is really strange to me. My counselor is aware of the issue and I suspect that as I get better at liking and taking care of myself it will be less of a problem. But I'm reading more, watching netflix less and in general feeling way less anxious about not having boisterous, alcohol fueled plans every weekend evening, which has been a problem for a while. I think this winter will be good for me.
I'm currently writing my bachelor's thesis, and we're just about finished with recording subjects (which as been a complete pain because the equipment... calling it jury-rigged would be a compliment), so now I get to dive into the analysis of the eeg recordings - the fun part!
I've hit that point with the cast that the novelty is done and gone and I just want the whole thing to be over with. I've gone and got me a big-city lawyer type and will not be talking about the accident any more online, he says no need to wipe past comments, yet. The new car has four wheels, moves forward and is huge compared to the old car, but still small enough to be a commuter. Now looking forward to snow if we ever get any to play with AWD.
I get on so late because I'm drowning in textbooks on the inner workings of both the Congress and the Presidency, with a dash of the Judiciary branch for good measure. Exam time approaches and with it my time dwindles. I recorded a song today with a friend. I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of the week.
Bought the tickets to Asia, off to Singapore the 1st of February! :D 4 months of globetrotting ahead!!! The beard care business has done 10x better than expected and we'll be out of stock in 3 days. Suppliers are swamped because of the increased Christmas demand and project 3 weeks to fulfill our new order. It sucks but live and learn. We also got an email from a huge clothing chain asking for samples. I'm not getting my hopes up just yet but this could be good news. Honestly, it all started with a half assed attempt to build up my CV so I'm pretty happy with the result.
Singapore is one of my favourite places on earth. Be sure to eat from a lot of restaurants - the mix of european, indian and asian food is awesome. And the view of Malacca from the Marina Bay Sands is magnificent as well - hundreds of huge tankers as far as view goes!
Ok, guess I'll post an update on how things are going for me so far. Right now I'm on vacation. I was hired to teach EFL in a school near my house. It's a new place and they got lots of ideas, but not much commitment to them. Other than that, my songwriting is getting much better lately. I am jamming along with the same drum track every day, and things are starting to sound more cohesive. The next step is getting 3 instruments to sound good together instead of 2.
Every single day has had something happen at work since I started there. Not even necessarily at my location, but either at corporate or here. It's a lot to deal with for a first job and I might have to PM one or two of you about some recent going on-s because it's big news, and I have no idea if it's good or bad. But tomorrow I think I'm going to learn how to pull a shot from a fancy espresso machine, so that should be fun. Oh and have I mentioned that working twelve hour shifts suck? At least I'm getting great reviews out of this. Revamped my resume the other day (see above paragraph), anyone want to review it? On the bright side, I'm being published in a zine and am going to a volunteer orientation for a DIY Arts and Music space where I hope to get involved with either the booking or steering committee! And it's almost my birthday!
SO I've got a new restaurant job. Did I mention that? I have to be at work at 6 am for baking and food prep - but on the plus side I'm home at noon. I need an adult to help me out with my U of T application - any takers? I need help with a "Statement of Intent" Like, how short is short? what kind of background do you want? how in depth should I go with my interest? should I mention that I want to move towards a doctorate? I wish I didn't have to write it all in formal-speak, and could just speak my mind and be honest.A short statement indicating background and intended area of interest.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... Went to the city's annual Evening of Light festival yesterday! Feels like the weeks are going by at lightning speed. Still super busy though. This weekend I'll be going to Antwerp with a ton of friends so I'm looking forward to that. Also, I've been having some RSI issues, so I'm trying out a Wacom tablet/touchpad instead of a mouse for a while. Let's see how long I last. If I accidentaly unfollow someone, I'm gonna blame the tablet. Misclicks everywhere...