Since last week, I've been noticing a lot more instances of people arguing, flame wars going on in comments, and so forth. Has anyone else been noticing this? Or is the brain housed in a vat that counts as my mind imagining things?
Hmm, I hate to say you're imagining things, but I'm not sure I have the same perception you have. I feel like things have been fairly quiet in my corner of hubski. There haven't been any recent reddit refugee crises that I'm aware of. Edit: I would just add that I have seen some of the more heated discussions you've taken part in recently and I think that's just par for the course; there are certain topics that do engender a more lively debate, and it's often easier to focus on the disagreement and dig the 'ol ideological trenches so-to-speak, but I think as the newer members get to know each other, and the older ones to newer ones, disagreements will tend towards civility. At least, that has been my experience of off and on lurking over the past two years here.
reply to your edit: It's just frustrating, and I'm trying to figure out how to come to terms with this, learn, grow from it. Someone pisses me off, and I block them. Not to punish them, just, I don't want to talk to that person right now. They talk trash in threads about how blocking someone is a hair trigger shitty thing to do. I then try to engage in rational discussion when provoked. People with awful communication skills leaping to conclusions, blaming, name calling, following from thread to thread. I then decide to try to respond with humor, "Bless your heart", "That's nice dear," "Sounds like you've had a bad day." and so forth. I am called a troll for doing so. I then just troll right back, blatantly calling them out on their illogic and irrelevance to the conversation, and their friends tumble on over to tell me how rude and wrong I am. And I know if I respond in kind, it'll spiral exponential, and what's the point of that? I give up. You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Some of my interactions on this website are reminding me why I don't like people. You not included, however. I think from this point on, anytime someone says something shitty to me on this site, I'm just going to respond with a picture of a kitten.
Here's my approach, maybe it can help you. First, mentally separate out the expletives, rude puerile insults, or ad hominem attacks. If that's the majority of the response someone is giving you, perhaps you don't even need to respond at all. People get flustered all the time, it's important not to let that get under your skin. Perhaps you can even take pleasure in the fact that they're more frustrated than you, and the only way they can win is by making you as angry as they are. Second, read their response as charitably as you can. Give them the benefit of the doubt where ever possible and point out areas of common ground; acknowledge what you can agree on first before examining points that you disagree on. Obviously this is easier if you have some prior knowledge or experience with the person, and generally speaking, this is just easier for some people more than others, but I think it's something you can practice if you make a conscious attempt to do so. You might say, "well, this person is a racist, sexist, bigoted asshole! Why would I give him or her the benefit of the doubt? How could I possibly find any common ground with a person like that!?" However, in my experience, very rarely will you encounter a genuine person with whom you can find zero agreement with. There are (capital 'T') Trolls that will disagree with everything and say anything to get a rise, but those become apparent since most people, when encountering this approach, will mirror it back and start looking for common ground in your points. Beyond that, admit when you're using hyperbole, if the person you're talking to makes a good point, let them know, be cautious about how you rephrase the other's arguments, and be open and ready to admit if you're wrong or make a mistake. The people worth engaging with will return the favor, and those that aren't, won't. Third, on the points you disagree with, make your case as forcefully and respectfully as you can. If the other person is making points you can't easily respond to, then just chill. You don't have to admit they're right or agree with the other person; maybe you can type out a response and leave it a draft or just think about it for a while. The important thing here is not to let heat of the moment emotions cloud your judgement. Lastly, use the personal moderation tools however you see fit. If you want to block literally everyone on the site, save for five or six people, that is your right, and don't let anyone criticize you for it. If you just don't like a person for whatever reason, don't feel bad about blocking them. Let them complain if they want to, but ultimately, on your posts and comments, you choose what they say and who you want responding to them. My personal view is that to use the block functionality just so you can get the "last word in" on some debate is a little immature and I think slightly less of someone when I see them do that, but again, it's up to you. I can understand getting frustrated or angry and not wanting to talk to someone, in which case, just don't reply to them and block them only if they won't leave you alone. Edit: Thanks for the badge, I'm glad you found it useful! This is the culture of friendly and open discussion I think most hubskiroos want to foster.
I haven't noticed this at all. But then, I tend to avoid such things. I think people would be wise to not see ignoring/muting as something to take offense of and just move on. If someone is complaining about being muted, then it sort of justifies their being muted imo. Shut up, move on. I've been muted. Never said a word about it. Why would I want to converse with someone that doesn't want to converse with me? Move on. If you don't want to interact with someone, ignore them first. If you find that is not enough, there are other tools as well. Use them. That's why they're there. Please, no kittens. Just move on. Turn the cheek and hit the ignore/mute button.
I haven't really noticed anything different except for these two instances: Maybe this is where you're getting the impression from? As far as I'm aware, there hasn't been any sitewide drama on Reddit that would cause people to ditch the site for Hubski.
There hasn't been, directly. Some people got mad and swore off reddit because they banned some hateful subreddits (my freeze peaches!!!), then there was an unpopular interim CEO, and then some other stuff that I don't even remember because I actually have things to do. So those people ran off to Voat or whatever else. In that whole storm of impotently angry discussion on reddit, people suggested various alternative sites. This one was mentioned a little, but not discussed nearly as much as any of the direct reddit clones. I and various others made our way here. The ones who come here looking for a place to leave reddit for; i.e., a copy of reddit without the people/workings undesireable to them, I expect, will soon leave dissatisfied that their hatefulness and pettiness free speech is even less tolerated more oppressed than it is on reddit -- that is, if they didn't get the impression right off. I wasn't looking to leave, but I took advantage of the flurry of "reddit alternatives" discussion and found a new home to go to along with my own little corner of reddit, away from the bullshit.