What do you think? Do we all start off as a blank slate only to be scribbled upon by our discipliners? What was your childhood like? Were your parents positive discipliners? If not, what was their mode of discipline?
not all of the problem parents ive run into are are bad people, they just make the mistake of either assuming that children are capable of undesirable adult traits, or assuming that children are stupid. actually, our most difficult students are the ones with strict parents... most of the "bad" kids mimicking their parents bad behavior can be convinced to change their ways, but the kids with strict parents are usually so confused and nervous that its hard to get them to listen at all.
source: ive spent the last 10 years (often successfully) teaching 3-5 year olds to be nice, and then watching them watch their parents behave otherwise. im a kindergarten teacher.
edit: one more thing: regardless of your discipline technique, PLEASE make sure that your children understand WHY what they did was not ok. if they dont know WHY, then youre just a big person being inexplicably mean to them.
I talk with her all the time and explain things to her. Today we were outside going from tree to tree feeling the bark and I was explaining "texture" to her. She only knows about 20-30 words but still I know she learns when I do it. She is seriously brilliant. I'm having a blast. I will always explain why what she did was either good or not good. I think its important that they know why they are being praised as much as why they aren't.
Thanks for the response, I appreciate all the advice.
A friend of my wife and I taught her daughter sign language from about the first few weeks on. Before Sofia could even walk, she was signing that she was hungry, or that she was done eating, or wanted more to drink. She had the tools to communicate in a language that could be understood.
Now obviously, this has little impact on child who may be feeling more complex emotions than they themselves can interpret and communicate. However, as a theory, I would suggest that Sofia will grow up having a confidence that her efforts at communication are fruitful more than not. I believe would alleviate some of the frustration, which would foster better communication and so on and so on.
Fuck dude, that was awesome. There's a lot in there and I'm not going to attempt to respond to it other than to say "thanks". Some of that is more relevant than you know. I'm very glad you and your father had that moment, that's huge. So many people never get that.
So what of little KB? Are you still interested in becoming a dad? That will be one smart little kid. It's fun man, lots and lots of fun.
btw, best ending paragraph in the history of Hubski comments. Hands down. Haven't laughed that hard since 5 minutes ago when I read about meth bartenders frequenting the Jerry Springer show.