- In a new study, forthcoming in Basic and Applied Social Psychology, the researchers expand on that work to figure out why people react either positively or negatively to doctor-induced guilt. The initial study saw that 45 percent of people who felt shame made questionable health choices as a result—lying to their doctors, avoiding them, or even quitting treatment with them. But 33 percent saw the shame as a motivator, and tried to improve their health as a result.
Order you around, or suggest you change certain behaviors? I'm sure (s)he is well meaning, but maybe lacks manner. It is surprisingly hard to be totally honest with your doctor for some reason, which is odd, since you're hindering their ability to do their job to the best of their ability when you don't tell the truth. I had a situation the other day when a doctor asked me a lifestyle question, and without even thinking my reaction was to lie. I backtracked a little and tried to be more truthful, but still, my gut said, "Fuck this stranger asking about my personal life." Then my rational side replied, "Uh, hello dipshit, the whole reason you're there is to have your personal life examined in detail." Anyway, I told him that I knew his advice was good medical advice, but that I'm probably not going to change my behavior.
She ordered me. She asked if I smoked, I was honest and forthcoming. I told her I knew it was bad, that I should quit while I was still young and before it became a deeply ingrained habit. She told me she didn't need to give me the lecture, I'd just given it to myself. I knew what I knew. Then she prescribed me birth control. We talked about various kinds and picked one and she said "Now, this medicine interacts poorly with smoking. You stop smoking today." I consider that ordering. I'm sure she's well meaning but, and I know this is my nature, because I was directly told what to do and it wasn't presented as an option or a good choice I should do for my health - but as a non-negotiable statement being handed down to me by Someone In Authority - I did what stubborn, pig-headed, obstinate, contrary me does, and I started smoking more. The person whose fault that is is me. Yes. It was a stupid choice and it was a choice I made, regardless of whether it was a reaction or not. I'm an adult and I should be better than mere reactions. But also, as a doctor, you should not be ordering around your patients like you're god.
Yeah, that sounds like the two of you just don't mix very well. My experience was a lot better than that. Conversation went something like this. Me: I'm here for an STD screen. Doctor: You're sexually active? (I nod) And you practice safe sex? Me: Well, I've never been raped, so I guess so. Doctor: (Smirking, rolling eyes) You know what I mean. Me: Yes, well, sometimes, well, not all the time, um, not really I guess. Well, it's never my idea anyway. Doctor: As a medical professional, it's my obligation to warn you about the dangers of unprotected...blah, blah, blah...whogivesashit...blah, blah, blah. Me: Can we just get this over with?
She also seemed vaguely judgey on the number of sexual partners I'd had in the past year, but it was a vague sort of thing that could be filed on "I'm obligated to tell you that the less sexual partners you have the lower your risk of STDs and STIs, even if you're practising safe sex" so I kind of didn't let it phase me. Besides it really wasn't many.
Were, per chance, your gums bleeding during this visit? If so, perhaps her insistence was justified. I kid, I agree that doctors should not be insisting such things, but I have no problem with them being overt and not sugarcoating the potential hazards that lifestyle choices present. I forget, do you still smoke regularly? I know we shared one in DC but I seem to recall bunking that for us from some REALLY snotty girls. Wow. I just had a memory return to me from the land of blackout.
Nope, gums weren't bleeding. I know I should quit it. I've only been smoking for a year (this go-round). Before that I quit for almost two years and before that I smoked a pack and a half a day. So it's clearly a love-and-leave-em affair for me. I do still smoke regularly. Sometimes more than less. You may have bunked one from snotty girls after Meriadoc and I departed. I had enough to get me through the night and shared with you and insomniasexx . Next time we go out I shall have to contrive to blackout. - No not really, I tend to throw up before I blackout, as a result I've only blacked out twice. (Impressively, on one occasion I both did not throw up, and still had the sense to turn down an offer of a ride from a car of three middle eastern men. (THAT was a memory I only kept because drunk me was also TEXTING while stumbling down the block and I told the person I was texting about it.) Yay blackout me.)
I'm more honest with doctors than pretty much every one else in my life in regarding booze, drugs, diet or exercise. I tell them what I'm willing to work on and what they shouldn't nag me about. They seem to take it pretty well. They always say a few things about the stuff I mention isn't going to change but it's not a bummer. They have a job to do and I respect that. They have no real power over the decisions I'm going to make aside from change my behavior by informing me of possible risks. I've had some incompetent doctors in my day, who have made me much sicker than I ever would have become if they hadn't treated me. This might contribute to my not really giving a shit about doctors opinions.