My own version of the 7th layer of hell would be having to get a gift registry full of esoteric kitchen items. "Look, Honey, Aunt Cuntface got us the olive boat we wanted! This will go great with our new serving platters!!!" Its one of the reasons I'm against marriage.
Look, marriage and gift registries - they're for you. This has been something I've grappled with and thought about a lot. If I ever get married I will not want the "typical" wedding. I never was a girl to sit and dream of my wedding day so frankly often when people ask me it has been met with a blank stare. I've since determined: I want a backyard wedding with an open bar and a great DJ. I want people to drink and dance and have a good time. Everything else I could pretty much not care less about. White dress? Sure. As long as I can dance. What it should look like? Uhh... So put on your registry things you want. Don't want a boring list of kitchen supplies? Don't ask for them. There are a lot of registries for honeymoons now. You can just ask people to help put money towards your honeymoon - I've seen it a couple times now, it doesn't seem gauche and it strikes me that you might not care if it did. (For that matter, hey, what about some sex toys for the newly married couple? ;) ) So - just make it yours, b_b. That's all that matters. THat's the point of this whole thing anyway.
I think I'm gonna have the most traditional, lamest shower in history, except with the caveat that the only beverage available are Little Beers. That sounds like a really good practical joke to play on my mom and her sisters.
Seriously. Just got a wedding present in the mail yesterday. It's a salad bowl that has a reservoir in the bottom where you are supposed to put ice to keep your salad cold. My premonition has materialized. Seriously. That's a product that exists. And someone I don't know and don't care about got it for me. What have I done!!! Seriously. Cold salad.
Ben: "Honey, have you seen the salad chiller?" Wife: "Which one?" Ben: "The one aunt cunt face bought us." My favorite part of the scenario I've created is that you have more than one salad chiller.