Amazing read. I wonder how different it would have worked out if he had played in college, taken a full load of classes and then worked his way up to the majors. I think that the years between 18 and 23 are a huge time for growth for everyone. It doesn't matter if you play sports or don't, go to college or don't. You change and you first start to figure out who you are as an individual. It sounds like he needs a lot more intellectual stimulation that he missed out on by going straight to the big leagues. His retirement and new adventure at university is trying to fill this hole. I understand where he is coming from. There are still days I regret dropping out of school. I miss being surrounded by that young, naive unadulterated passion - people who are all looking to learn something new and get better every day. Whether it's through a class itself or new social situations or getting laid or drunk or being hungover. He needed that but didn't get that from baseball because he is surrounded by people, all a various points of life, all determined to play ball and get to the next level. That is not the ideal environment for discovering who you are and what your values are. No one's values are 100% baseball (or 100% anything) but when you are working so hard are accomplishing one thing, your have to commit your full focus to it. It makes complete sense that it wasn't satisfying for him because he needed more than baseball in order to find his place in the world - a place where he is happy as a person, knows who he is and is able to love the things he loves. Perhaps if he had a chance to live and learn that before diving headfirst into this 100% focus on baseball, he would have been able to love it and love himself and his life and his place.
That was a nice read, he seems to be a good writer. I wish him well and hope his decision pans out. I have been trying to round up enough guys to go out and play home-run derby where I live. Nobody is game though. I want to smell the burnt wood of the bat as I crush one deep to center. I used to love to hit. Guess I'll have to settle for the batting cages.
There's a historic park around where I live called Greenfield Village. It's a piece of property that Henry Ford bought and then imported a bunch of historic stuff to be preserved. Among the things they have there are Edison's workshop, the Wright brothers' workshop, Merriam Webster's house, and a bunch of other interesting things; Ford was a big time history buff. Also, in the summer time they play old time baseball on a field in exactly the style you're referring to, dead balls, no gloves, replica bats and uniforms from real teams who played 19th century ball. It's really pretty cool.
I think these are the central points. To grow up admiring baseball, you have to maintain that wonder and being a part of the mystique to really be a part of it. You have to be able to realize you're a part of that now and an arbiter of it. I always think of that scene in The Sandlot, where they're playing the night game on Independence Day with the fireworks above and they knew that he was going on to greater things in the game and he was able to keep that with him. Without it, what's the point? You're spending your life playing a game, the same thing, 162 times a year, for at most 20 years if you're extremely lucky, but more likely less than 10. Yeah you'll make money, but beyond that, it certainly wouldn't be worth it. If you can't feel part of it like you do watching it, a degree that will be fulfilling and take a larger part of your life-- without taking such a large part of the rest of your life outside of work-- is definitely the better alternative.To put it simply, other players were much better than I was at separating the game of baseball from the job of baseball. They could enjoy the thrill of a win—as it should be enjoyed—without thinking of what it meant to the owners’ bottom lines.
Sometimes I wish the same thing. For whatever reason, I was never the sort of player who could enjoy a game, a play, or a hit before moving on to prepare for the next one.