It's 3am, I'm Drinking.
Heaven is a corner store That went out of business Thirty three years ago And nothing has changed.
people still walk the streets and cry out in vain about everything moving fast but they don’t know their name
lost and worn faces like the grocer’s ex wife who used to bag all the dreams and keep them for herself
The dust on her bible keeps track of the years since her faith was broken and replaced with a bottle
This italicized part, is it the title? Who is the "I" in the poem and why is it important that the I is drinking at 3am and is that tied with "thirty three"? Who is this collective people and what does their name have to do with change? Is the grocer's ex-wife one of those people? What did she do with all those dreams and why is her loss of faith important? I think there a lot you could exploit in your setup, but I would suggest working the line a bit more to see if you want to stick with such short breaks. It feels to me like it needs more room to breathe at this point.
It's the title. Which is the situation that I was in while writing the song after a night out. Grabbed my guitar and was playing some chords and then started humming and slowly came up with these words. I plan on adding a lot more to it, already have the music all worked out but you're spot on with it needing more room to breathe. The lyrics end way before each respective section does.
Heaven is a corner store
That went out of business
Thirty-three years ago
thought-provoking imagery. By posting it here, would you be offended by people tinkering with it... seeing it as a prompt. One of the ways I use Hubski (and I think others might as well) is see everything as a possible inspiration
