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comment by OmnomoBoreos
OmnomoBoreos  ·  4106 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: My Ex-Gay Friend

This was a truly fantastic read. I appreciate the lengths the writer goes to figure out what happened to his friend.

I can see why he would change his life after the scare that happened with his heart, but I am unable to discern why he chose to take such a hard right turn and become the thing that he hated the most.

It's possible that, like how his old boss said, that he never really was gay in the first place. Just a young man who was entranced by an idea and once he was satisfied he was overcome with another idea and is right now perusing it.





Raxyn13  ·  4106 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think it's just as likely that he's being sincere. I don't know what's in his head though, so I guess I can't really tell.

megaman  ·  4106 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    It's possible that, like how his old boss said, that he never really was gay in the first place.

I think this is what was referred to when the article mentioned 'restrictive labels' or something along those lines. What does "really gay" mean? Can you even ever accurately define a thing like sexual desire? It brings to mind a certain Subnormality comic, I'll try and hunt it down and link it.

OmnomoBoreos  ·  4106 days ago  ·  link  ·  

No need, I have read the comic you are referring to. I probably worded it incorrectly in the first place to be honest. The point that I was trying to get across was that he might have had a desire in a particular person (Which is most likely because of the long time relationship with his boyfriend) and by doing that he became a part of a culture that he didn't believe in.

It's even evidenced in his outspoken-ness for the cause. The enthusiasm is directly related to the belief in the cause. Since he was trying to convince himself that he was a part of it, he tried harder than those who were actually a part of it.

This also is shown by his change in beliefs. His tenaciousness is unchanged, it's just the idea that he is trying to convince him self of is what's changed. He's still as outspoken as ever, but for a different idea.

Much like the writer of the article, I am not phased by his life style change, I am disturbed by his anger towards the group that he once defended.

Raxyn13  ·  4106 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't think he came across as angry so much as he came across as having a ton of baggage. Which makes a lot of sense, all things considered. He changed his stance on a HUGE amount of his life, and was dealing with how his old life saw the change. It's never fun to feel like you aren't supported by those you once called friends, and that's probably how this bloke feels. Figuring out where your faith fits in with the rest of your life (or vica-versa, I guess) is an extremely difficult task that every Christian, heck, every religious individual, has to come to terms with. This guy is new in his faith, and he's already dealing with all of the baggage that comes with it. It's understandable if he's a bit standoffish, he'll grow.

Raxyn13  ·  4106 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm pretty sure I know the one you're talking about, the one with all the monsters? (That narrows it down, go me -_-)

And to be honest, I think it's pretty easy for an individual to define something they do as gay. To an outsider it may not be so simple, but the individual in question has a perspective the outsider doesn't, as well as direct, accurate knowledge as to his or her own motivation and thoughts. I think sometimes we as people complicate things needlessly in our efforts to find out how everything works.

megaman  ·  4106 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I guess I haven't thought of that, like most I tend to focus on my own experiences and not carefully regard other points of view.

And yes, you were correct!: Here's the comic.

Raxyn13  ·  4106 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Score one more for Raxyn13!

But yeah, I do that all the time too. It's just a good ideal to have, always considering other's thoughts and feelings. Doesn't necessarily make that person correct, it just means you understand where they're coming from.

user92  ·  4105 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I think it's just as likely that he's being sincere. I don't know what's in his head though, so I guess I can't really tell.
This is key. Taking everyone at their word until they prove we shouldn't would a huge step towards a more peaceful society, in my opinion.