Mental storm indeed. I used to spend a lot of time pondering the what-ifs, but a lot of the therapy into my anxiety was focused on that pondering. While normal me would think about the potential universe where this or that happened; the anxiety me would fixate on the chance that I inhabited the universe where a specific awful thing was 100%, without a doubt, going to happen. As a result of the therapy, I don't ponder what-ifs much, these days. I'm thankful for it. I've had those mental storms, some anxiety induced, others echoing b_b's situation almost entirely. I'm still young, but I feel like I have too few mornings remaining. Not enough sunrises. It's fuel though - these mornings are precious, and the time spent with the people I've wound up with, even more so. I agree, wanting the future is okay, and shit even wanting a future that didn't come to pass is something everyone entertains. Just don't let it stack up to the potential of this future.