I’m back in town! Planning to move back to my apartment by December but it looks like my ex still has not found a place to move to. The market is tough, but also it’s been 3 months now… and it’s rough because he’s looking for a cheap place. I don’t want to be a dick and kick him out but I also need to move on. I have a lot of thinking to do about what I’m looking for in a partner, because it almost feels like the qualities I want would not occur in a single person. But I’m not going to be dating for now. Probably need to stay single for a little while after 10 years with someone. Also need to evaluate my next career move. My previous job solidified my worries about not being a fit for stable 9-5 office work. But it’s also the type of work I can most easily find and am most qualified for. My ideal contract-based, engaging, well paying and possibly remote position probably doesn’t exist. I still have time, but my friend was advising me not to do things Willy nilly like I have been and always keep in mind to build towards something. But that type of more long term thinking is giving me anxiety about the decisions I will have to be making soon. Because that could be anything from moving countries to going back to school to changing specialisation… I like to do meaningful shit but also would not mind being paid more at this point in my life, do something beyond entry level stuff. I’ve done a ton of interesting work in my life so far, but it’s getting frustrating how often the same question falls back on the table and it often doesn’t feel like I’ve made progress on finding an answer. Despite being a really competent person overall and good at getting shit done.
Honestly, your reservations notwithstanding, between broad know-your-shit skills and overall aptitude for people, for a long time you sounded better-suited for managing than most folks. Plus, you are the kind of enviable person who'd come to a new place, and within a week have talked with everyone, get the gist of goings-on, and have a better idea about everything than I'd have in a year. It's an invaluable quality.
Aww thanks! The people hearding was definitely a fun part of my last job, but it also felt like thankless groveling a lot of the time when everyone around is a volunteer. And a big part of why I get so much done is my laziness and stopping at « good enough » to move on to the next thing. Would infuriate my perfectionist boss, but I’d say I can either do one thing well or 5 things okay in the same timeframe. Or I’d let people off the hook for subpar work and have to take on the rest... Delegating and assertiveness is something I still need to work on that is essential in management work. I probably rather be a troubleshooter type person that comes in, fixes and gets things unstuck and move along. When I started managing the makerspace, I had to create all the systems, from IT to community building to management. But as the project grew it became maintaining the place with no free time to improve or create new shit because our membership and classes offered more than doubled. So the more successful we got, the more boring and menial my job became. With increased pressure and less support and oversight as I was more trusted to make decisions. Not helped by the ever deteriorating relationship with my boss. I really think they failed big time on that front because I could have grown in my role if they were more attentive to my concerns. But I’m probably to blame too not being able to express exactly what changes I needed. It’s crazy how fast a job that was basically built for me became a nightmare. I’m glad I’m gone but I also learned a ton in my 1.5 years there.
That's a very brief and sober summary of the situation. You know where you need to grow, what were the problems, have an idea on what worked and a probable cause on why it didn't. And you didn't even need 20 slides of pointlessly redundant flowcharts, so you've already beaten every 6-sigma'er I ever talked to. It might not be your cup of tea in the long run, but IMO it's an area worth further look. Ultimately, I'm here for mere encouragement.