My parents are not great people. They're not horrible, but they're not great. When I came to grad school, they made clear that while they weren't going to pay my tuition (fair) they wanted to support me anyhow. Not fully, but just help out. They assisted in my living situation, have been paying my phone bill, car insurance, health insurance (which they say they'll cover during my grad school after I age out of theirs in a few months), part of my living costs, and provided a big chunk of change, promising they would provide that same chunk a year later to help me out on my educational hellish adventure. It's been really helpful. However, they've decided to do what they do best and use their financial stability and my financial instability to continue to control me as a person and didn't provide that chunk of change. Because of that, I'm considering not going home for the break between semesters. It'd be a lot of gas money, oil change, need wipers and brake change and those would really have to happen, there's the time not spent working and earning money (unlikely I'd work while I was home and if I did it'd probably be thesis and not actual work), not to mention all the cost of living increases with stagnant pay and the fact that my student loans don't even cover tuition so I need to pay some of that out of pocket because I will not take out private loans. So they called today and I mentioned all of the costs I have upcoming and why I may not be able to come home for Christmas and they immediately started gaslighting and trying to guilt me into coming. What a fun time indeed. It's really fun looking back and noticing how they changed for the better when I was financially independent and how now that I am not again, they abuse that to attempt to control and gaslight me. I'm glad I am finally seeing who they are, disappointed it took so long. A while ago my father asked me why I treat my parents different than my friends, accusing me of treating them worse. I chose to feign ignorance and not mention that they've gotten a lot more second chances than a friend who treats me they way they do would ever get. Maybe in a few years when I'm financially stable again I'll finally cut them out. Unlikely, but maybe.
I mean, if your livelyhood depends on it and you want to not be dependent on those fuckers again in the future - maybe consider alternatives before going no contact. Especially if all it takes is a nightmare of a Christmas dinner once in a while. Not saying it’s easy but worst of two evils? Set yourself up for future success?
Declined the job. My boss is also on the hunt for a new role, so I'll wait it out. I didn't expect to feel sympathy at this stage but I don't like seeing her so unhappy in her own role. Did she do a lot of the damage she's now having to tidy up? Yes. But I still want good things for her. Just, away from me. It's vege planting season! My raised beds are almost ready, minus some extra soil to be added this week. Spuds, carrots, peas and going in this weekend. I also have about 50 days of annual leave owing, and HR is frothing at the mouth for me to take it - so I have all of next week off. Nothing planned, just gonna do gardening, tidy the house up, relax, write and play some games. Next weekend is the annual Beer Fest in my city, usually a highlight of the calendar year. Our groups theme for the day is "clashing" so I've found the most obnoxious ensemble I could and will be wearing it proudly. Loud Hawaiian shirt, pink bucket hat, shorts with pineapples on them.
Having a bit of a crisis of faith. I’m sure it’s fine.
Détroit was fantastic! The Halloween party the best I’ve ever been to, I feel I only saw a small part. Doxie gave us a 9h tour driving around the city, we saw a ton of stuff and I feel I barely scratched my list of things to visit. So many inspiring initiatives and art out there. Had an awesome bonding experience with my friends. I really want to go back and explore some more. It feels like the kind of city I’d enjoy living in, but with a Canadian passport that’s more trouble than I’m ready to put up with right now.
Baseball A bunch of “reporters” took a single sentence out of a quote by Ohtani wildly out of context and sensationalized the hell out of it. You figure, for a bunch of people who always cry “Why doesn’t anyone trust the media anymore?!” that they’d actually exercize some integrity. They’re doing Ohtani, their audience, and their peers a massive disservice. Shame on them. Now that both The Guardians and The Mariners are out of the running for The World Series, I kind of don’t have a team I’m rooting for. I’m definitely rooting against The Yankees and Astros though. So let’s hope The Padres or Phillies win it all. Birdwatching and Nature I haven’t really done much of any in the past six months. The fall is my favorite time to do it, not cause of migratory birds or anything, I just love the cool air and falling leaves. It’s rained once here in the last four weeks, and even then, for like five minutes. I’m not joking. Lake Meade is at its lowest levels in history. The Mississippi is so low in some parts, river barges can’t travel down it. The parks where I live are starting to cut down certain species of trees cause our wet/dry shifts are so dramatic now that the trees can’t cope and are no longer maintainable. It’s kind of crazy to think things are already this bad and we’re just getting started. But it’s cool. Let’s just fiddle away like Nero. After all, everyone is doing it. Housing Market Apparently a bunch of people who sank money into the speculative housing market through flipping and Air BNB are seeing some very dark storm clouds forming on the horizon. Good. Fuck them. Housing is a social and life necessity, and should never have been turned into a speculative instrument. My only regret is the banks and corporations engaged in the same behavior will probably come out the other side mostly unscathed, which is a shame, cause they’re the real villains here.
I'm having a fun morning calling the 88 Tactical folks. They are a bunch of white nationalists who run a pair of shooting ranges/armories in Nebraska. I've been calling because I'm a loving grandson who wants to take his veteran grandfather out shooting for his birthday, but he heard the name of the range and got worried because the 88 is a nazi dog whistle. Man the reactions of the various manager and personnel on the phone has been funny.
The founder has claimed that it stands for the 'All Clear' code in some radio code or other. When asked directly about the association of the number and the logo for the business which is a literal Imperial eagle, with known active hate groups he never actually denounces them.