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comment by goobster
goobster  ·  954 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How to confront someone for potato theft?

Been there many times, and there is - sadly - only one "right" thing to do: They have to go.

This individual has a sense of entitlement about the space. It is Theirs. The deserve the things they take because of everything they put into the space. But that's bullshit. And you are NOT the only ones that know about this. I guarantee it. Other people know. Other people know that "the management" of the space isn't doing anything about it and wont do anything about it because this person is "too important to let go".

Confronting the individual and expecting them to reform will not work. This person is ENTITLED. If you call them out, they will immediately turn the conversation into an argument about everything they do for this place, and - if they even choose to stay - will be a negative energy and asshole for the rest of their time there. Their perfect little fabricated fictional world is crushed now, and they will do nothing but badmouth the organization for ever... even while remaining a member.

The only option is to print out the security camera images of them taking the beer, and their hand in the tips jar. Show them the photos and simply say, "If you leave voluntarily and end your relationship with (our makerspace) we will not get the police involved, and will not mention this to anyone else."

This is NOT a conversation. This is NOT a discussion. This is a STATEMENT OF FACT. Say it, and shut up. Do not say another word, no matter what they do/say.

Confronted with evidence of their wrong-doing, and knowledge that your security cameras have probably picked up a bunch of their thefts, they will pack up and leave quietly.

From then on, their name is not spoken again. People will ask where they went. You just say, "Some issues came up and they have terminated their membership voluntarily." And THAT'S IT. Conversation over.

Eventually they will join another makerspace. You will be friends with the owners of that space. You will want to warn them, but you can't. NEVER badmouth someone; say nothing at all. Because, if the person has reformed, they do not need their past misdeeds looming over them.

In a private discussion at some point, you might want to share a "best practice" with the other makerspace of having security cameras installed, and how it has helped you resolve "issues in the past." Let the other makerspace draw their own lines between the dots.

I know you are worried. You think their loss will hurt the makerspace. It won't.

People like that have a negative energy or pull about them. There has been a cloud around the space for a while - you know it, you felt it, you knew something was "off" - and everyone else knows that too.

When that energy is gone, the place will do better, it will feel better, and you can move on. It will be rejuvenating and it will re-energize the very walls of the space. It will also give space for another maker in the space - one with integrity - to rise up in the esteem of the other makers.

It's hard work, but it is work that needs to be done.

Kick them out. Now.