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I think the last girl I was seeing broke things off because I haven't had a long term, live-in relationship. Also maybe because we had different views on marijuana. Me: "I have nothing against it but work would VERY much frown on it." Her: "I think I'd just quit. I used to smoke every night and only quit realizing it was a rut." Might be good to screen pot use, too. I think among late 30s/early 40s there can be some polar opposite opinions. Good luck on your dates! The girl I'm seeing now called not living with a partner a yellow flag, not a red flag, and we've talked about exes and relationships more since with all going well.