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comment by _refugee_
_refugee_  ·  1083 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 28, 2021

Tattoo today. Back later with evidence





_refugee_  ·  1083 days ago  ·  link  ·  

So, dating.

I had one first date this past Sunday and I have 4 more lined up for this Thursday-Sunday. No double booking people -- at least not of yet. I'm approaching dating rather seriously this go round. The goal: find someone who I get along with and share a lot in common with, who I want to hang out with a lot!

It's interesting, this approach, because I've never quite tried something like this before. I'm using Hinge, thanks to the advice of several people, and it's going much, MUCH better than the playing field on OKCupid, so thank you for your recommendations. I've actually stepped a bit too far into the swimming pool as I have surplus of gentlemen who would like to meet. However, I'm absolutely refining and updating my selections for this weekend as various users seem less likely to pan out. I'm learning a great deal about some basic attributes I'm looking for in someone. For instance:

- i prefer someone who has experience in some kind of office environment mainly because if you don't you have no idea what the fuck i do and it's really hard to explain it; at least if you work in an office environment, i might be able to begin to explain it effectively

- also having a similar job = similar schedules, which is a big thing. i was awakened to the reality of this one when a bartender messaged me at 3 am hoping i kept "bartender hours." no, buddy, i'm sorry, but i almost never will message you back at 3 am. and i like to wake up at 7. most bar shifts start around the time i get off work you know?

- it's interesting how the pandemic has really diversified people's experiences of the past 18 months, and to be honest i'm going to have more in common with people who had similar experiences than i did. i have most in common with other people who went to full time work from home.

- obviously, i need someone with similar tattoo appreciation as I have, which i realized today when i messaged my thursday night date about tattoos and he had a decidedly lukewarm response!! something i didn't even THINK about until it happened!

- at this point, at this age, a guy with a kid or an ex wife is actually more interesting as a potential option than someone who's made it to 30 and no one has been willing to commit to yet

it's a game of quality AND quantity. there are a lot of great guys out there but once you start sorting out all the "obviously incompatible lifestyle" folks out the playing field dwindles. I am MOST excited for my date on Saturday. This person really has almost everything I am interested in...

....but now i realized i have to check about tattoos :)

WanderingEng  ·  1083 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think the last girl I was seeing broke things off because I haven't had a long term, live-in relationship.

Also maybe because we had different views on marijuana. Me: "I have nothing against it but work would VERY much frown on it." Her: "I think I'd just quit. I used to smoke every night and only quit realizing it was a rut." Might be good to screen pot use, too. I think among late 30s/early 40s there can be some polar opposite opinions.

Good luck on your dates! The girl I'm seeing now called not living with a partner a yellow flag, not a red flag, and we've talked about exes and relationships more since with all going well.

_refugee_  ·  1083 days ago  ·  link  ·  

yes absolutely this about the mj use.

there's so many vectors! no wonder it can be so hard

_refugee_  ·  1083 days ago  ·  link  ·  
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c_hawkthorne  ·  1083 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Super cool tat! How many is that for you? I have two, both ribs, and am considering a third (plague doctor lmao) but don't know where to put it. I want to be able to cover it up as necessary. Ribs are easy to do that. Arms and legs get a lot harder.

_refugee_  ·  1083 days ago  ·  link  ·  

it's like 20-21 at this point! i would say i also want mine to be reasonably coverable so i am making the sacrifices of the upper parts of limbs first because uhmmmm one of the reasons i get tattoos is to show them off so other people know i am badass, duh! so it's kind of not fun when they're all hidden.

with this positioning i can ostensibly hide my tattoos at work.

but also i have inner finger and ring and wrist tattoos

sooo

I just really, really love tattoos. And I love the way an Am trad rose looks on a hand. there are some tattoos i don't love and won't probably ever get, a throat tattoo is really not for me in any capacity. but i'm absolutely planning on finishing out the inner finger set at some point, kind of cuz once in i'm in you know? they haven't fired me yet and i've got 3 of them done. also theoretically only in imaginary land my dream 2nd career is a tattoo artist (i just don't know how much I'd actually enjoy...you know, customers) so like yup. that's how i feel about tattoos. i fuckin' love 'em.