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comment by b_b
b_b  ·  1072 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 21, 2021

I have this weird thing where my boss always writes me mean messages while I'm giving presentations, sometimes through slack and sometimes through the PM function on the video chat service we use. Sometimes the messages are only a little mean and sometimes they're pretty hostile. I can't tell if she's testing me to see how well I'd do in a pressure situation, or if she thinks she's being helpful, or something else entirely. She once said to me, "I have no empathy," so that's something to consider, too, I guess (and that was years before I agreed to work for her, so it's not like I wasn't warned!).

Fortunately for me I have pretty thick skin, but even one of the other people in the company who I was talking to about it, was like, "Yeah that's not normal." If I didn't know better I'd think it was some form of attempted bullying, but I actually think she thinks it's her version of leadership. Gonna keep my mouth shut for now, which is something I'm inherently good at, and see if it lasts.





lil  ·  1072 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Mouth shut sounds like a plan. Don’t engage.

But if you did, don’t challenge or confront in any way. Maybe say, “I’m not sure what you meant by xxxx. Could you explain?

No sarcasm, no irony.

Or, “Thanks for your text. What I hear you saying is . . . then paraphrase the mean tweet giving her the most positive and generous interpretation, followed by - is that it?”

b_b  ·  1072 days ago  ·  link  ·  

One aspect here that I've yet to think through is that it's a weird company insofar as it's small and entirely populated by seasoned veterans of the field who are mostly in their 50s and 60s, and then there's me, the young(ish--compared to them), inexperienced newcomer. I know she likes me, and I know she thinks I'm decent at what I do, so I want to think she think she's trying to mentor me in a way. But I think she's just not good at it. Anyway, I appreciate the advice. No one does it better than you.

thenewgreen  ·  1072 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This advice is perfect.

thenewgreen  ·  1072 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I am pretty good at interpreting such things. You should give me a call and provide more specifics. Though I don’t see you often, I consider you a good friend and I know you’re an incredibly talented person, but I think I may have more of a proclivity when it comes to parsing such things. Also, I’m just super curious now :)

I’m on a plane atm, but let’s talk tomorrow.

b_b  ·  1072 days ago  ·  link  ·  

No doubt that you are 100 times the people person that I am.

thenewgreen  ·  1072 days ago  ·  link  ·  

100 is a lot. But we all have our skill sets. Let me use my Jedi powers to interpret what sounds like a crazy situation. And seriously; I want to know what she’s texting you and the context therein. Sounds insane. And, we are due for a conversation. If nothing else, I need your help justifying future guitar purchases.

b_b  ·  1072 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My preferred method is to just not say anything and hope my wife doesn't, too. I did prime her recently by telling her that I plan to gather a "collection" over the next number of years. I have the strat and the ES-335 I've always coveted, but there's so much more. A high end PRS, a Les Paul, an ES-175, a tele, etc, etc. I figure if I buy one every time I get a bonus, then it'll be hard to be pissed off, since it'll still be a pretty big bolus of money.

Edit: But yes, let's talk. Wish we did more anyway.

goobster  ·  1067 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My wife and I have an agreement on musical equipment.

She looks at me and says, "Did you put us in financial peril?"

If I can say "No", then she's ok with it. (She's a keeper.)

steve  ·  1071 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I need your help justifying future guitar purchases.

We can all help here. Just buy it. Watch this video of Prince slaying some Harrison and let that inspire a purchase:

thenewgreen  ·  1067 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I have shared this performance with people many, many times. Most recently with my father in law. So, I have to assume you're referring to the below video. The one you posted is Prince performing Purple Rain from said film. Thx for sharing! Onward!!!

b_b  ·  1067 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I can't believe I've not seen that before. I got chills. Is that Dhani Harrison on rhythm? I suppose it's technically slaying Clapton (from a guitar perspective), but that's nitpicky and no less awesome either way. Sad to see Tom and Prince up there having such a good time. Poor bastards. Petty's voice on that performance is really melodic and nice, not like his typical country thing. What a beautiful vid. Thanks for posting.

thenewgreen  ·  1067 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yes. That’s Dhani.

And some of my favorite parts are watching his expression. Prince owns that stage. It’s so much fun to watch.

b_b  ·  1067 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I once read about an app Dhani was developing where you could could look at and hear all of George's guitars. He had them all hi-res 3D photographed and then recorded a bunch of music on each one. I never saw it actually come out though.

steve  ·  1067 days ago  ·  link  ·  

whoa... that's a weird youtube doing it's youtube thing... yes. I thought I had copied the link starting just before the solo... hmmm.... just tried to post again... hubski doesn't honor the start at tag in the link. interesting.

Whoops. yes - and thank you for catching that. and as a bonus... here's Prince in the actual rain

lil  ·  1072 days ago  ·  link  ·  
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