The armor grows thin... the weak and soft flesh is becoming exposed... Quarantine has been a breeze for my wife and I. We have a nice home, a nice yard, and live just outside a big city that has all the modern services. (All mod cons, as my British friends would say.) The Smoke has changed that. We have been doing a LOT in our yard. Projects. Planting. Building a wall and patio. Enjoying the yard. Getting outside and watching the birds, or sharing a distanced chat with friends under our lovely 100 foot tall Douglas Fir tree that I have named "Doug". With the air quality index being basically "go outside and die", all of that has come to a screeching halt, and we are left with... the Internet and TV. She can't go skating. I can't work in my shop or on my myriad yard projects. And we are now way more familiar with what most people have experienced during quarantine. The boredom. The feeling of being trapped. We knew we had it good.... there was never any question in our minds about that. But now we are getting an inkling of what our friends have been experiencing since March. And it sucks. We'd make up new things to do... but are too depressed and basically spend our time opening and closing the fridge or sleeping. It's depressing. Bleh. I'm completely apathetic about it all. Could do many things. Don't wanna do anything. Bleh.
Seriously put on the n95 and get back to it. We have been a bit stuck because n95s don’t work for young kids but at night I still put on the n95 and go for a walk. There is a small shortage of n95s but it’s not any worse than it was if flour and you can score a few if you overpay a bit
Tonight will help. Going to have dinner with my Dad. And the air might be clearing this weekend, so working outside - masked or not - will be on the table again. I just went for a drive last night. Drove around West Seattle. Down streets I'd never driven before. Just to get out and about. Electric car. Windows up. Air in recirculation. So not contributing to the bad air quality, at least...
Sorry you’re going through this, but I don’t think you are feeling what we have all felt. I think this is something different. I may have been quarantined, others may be stuck in an apartment but they can open a window or go for a socially distanced walk outside. You cannot. That’s rough. That’s real isolation. Isolation from the sun, the earth. These are the things that are getting most of us through this. There’s a reason you can’t buy a tent or bike these days without a wait. Many people are getting their sanity through connection to the natural world. You can’t do that. That’s rough, pal. Hang in there. Write that novel! Record that song! Watch all 100 of TIME Magazines top films in alphabetic order. Godspeed. Stay safe!
You make excellent points, of course. It's a little hard to see the sun when you are under the metaphorical (and actual) cloud layer... :-) It's the apathy that is most surprising to me. I could be writing/recording music. I could be reading. I could be working on any number of books and screenplays I have in the works. I could continue removing all the old HVAC ducting for our old forced-air heating system we replaced... two years ago. There's plenty to do, and lots of interesting projects... but lifting a finger is SO HARD...