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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  1362 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How to be happy? Most people have it backwards.

Interestingly, in this same series, there's a Buddhist Perspective. I only glanced at it, I might give it a thorough read later.

As for happiness, I wouldn't describe it as "unstable" but more as "ephemeral and conditional." Which, I guess from a certain angle, could be interpreted as "unstable." I tried to chase after happiness for quite a while, from treasuring things such as comics, video games, antiques, and cars, to trying to pursue money and status through my career. It never really worked because there was always the want of more and more and also the frustration of wants unfulfilled.

It wasn't until I decided to take a 90 degree turn and focus less on "happiness" and more on "detachment" that I started to feel more fulfilled. My priorities shifted from the material to the more philosophical. I still struggle with unhappiness, sure, and there's still a material component to it, but it's different. For example, I'm still unhappy career wise, but not because I don't make enough, but because I don't think my job reflects my values and I think it's a morally destitute place with a morally destitute function. I'm unhappy materially, but not because I don't have enough, but because I think I have too much and my possessions are a burden because they make it difficult to live in a clean and orderly home, they create sense of regret in money and time wasted, and I still own some things that remind me of who I used to be that I don't want to be anymore.

One thing I wonder is if "detachment" is an even more nebulous and harder to obtain ideal than "happiness," but one thing I do know is that as nebulous and elusive as it is, I'm pretty confident that pursuing it is making me feel like a more moral, more driven, more complete person.