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comment by goobster
goobster  ·  308 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 22, 2020

I've always been a positive happy dude. It's just who I am.

But this week I finally broke; and it has given me a deeper understanding of those I know who deal with clinical depression (like my wife). I couldn't really DO anything. I wasn't sobbing in a corner, or a wreck, I was just ... incapable of anything.

So I played video games for about two days straight.

Today we are going away to a friend's vacation home. They are out of the country and can't get to it, and asked us to go check on it. Fortunately, it is also my wife's birthday. So we are getting away for a bit, together.

It's going to be lovely.

And just the break I need right now. (There's no internet there, too. That'll help me out immensely.)

Oh. And I got onto TikTok. And I love it. Without reservation. A total blast!

kantos  ·  307 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I hear you.

My band-aid to lift darker moods/thoughts lately has been a medium sized candle that can last for a few days. Something about a persistent little flame that inspires heat and light through to sundown grants a token of solace. Pushing back the darkness, ya know?

Enjoy your time away.

goobster  ·  303 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Oh man... the candle really hits me in the right place. I'm going to get one... that seems like a lovely little thing to have going, quietly persistent. Love it.

greenitalics  ·  307 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Can definitely relate - generally consider myself to be a positive/optimistic person over the past couple years, but this week has been super duper tough. It's such a scary feeling to have my "well of positivity" run dry,. I've been getting nasty with my housemates, sour at work, and generally unproductive. Hopefully I can start filling back up, but gotta take it slow

Have fun at the vacation home, sounds perfect!

goobster  ·  303 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Chatted with my boss about the depressive episode, and he had it the previous Sat-Tues. His boss had it the previous week, too.

Everyone at work is being open and talking about where they are, mentally, and ... it's kinda amazing. We can support each other when we need it, and ask for help without fear. That right there helps immensely.

elizabeth  ·  308 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Oh. And I got onto TikTok. And I love it. Without reservation. A total blast!

As an observer or participant? TikTok seems so diametrically opposed to Hubski... I'd actually love to see all of yall lipsing some dumb pop song for a second.

goobster  ·  303 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Observer. I don't think I'm a creator-type. Over my lifetime I have invested tens of thousands of dollars into musical equipment, GoPro cameras, drones, etc... and then I don't lead a life that uses them at all. I'm not jumping off cliffs, or playing gigs, or surfing, or whatever.

I walk my dog. I write. I sit in my back yard and enjoy the big Douglas Fir tree and all the birds in it.

So I'm just not a Millennial creator-type person.

And I should be clear, I'm only on the dark gothy side of TikTok... there's a lot of lip syncing to music... but the songs are more death metal, hardcore EDM, and stuff. Camilla Severin and her clown character #Jojo is pretty much the epicenter of my TikTok experience. (darkrose_assassin, darkcorruptedbrains, xox_toxicat_xox, and of course camillaseverin are kinda the few people I follow, who then lead me to the other "dark side of TikTok" types of creators. I love the costumes and makeup.)