I was born in a town of about 3000 people, and lived in a township of (I think) 125 out in rural South Otago. All through my teenage years we did the usual rural stuff - lighting stuff on fire, drinking and smoking, having sex at 14, hooning around the farms in paddock-bashers. Regular fucking idiots. Then the end of high school came and half of our school year (30 people) went to Universities around the country. I went up the road no more than an hour yet I was fuckin' dead to everyone back home. I'd known them pretty much my entire life and we'd formed countless memories together but going back in the first mid-year break? Going to the pub was an ordeal because they wouldn't talk to me. I'd left the farming area and now I was a townie. Like suddenly I had forgotten how to shear a sheep and order the farm dogs. They came around eventually, but there was some kind of betrayal they appeared to have felt in regards to people leaving their little nest. I'm on good terms with most people once more, but it took an effort to prove I wasn't a "townie" or more accurately, to prove that being a "townie" isn't a bad thing. Better weed, more things to do - just don't bring up the country vs town rugby 'rivarly' (if you can call country losing for the past 80 years a rivalry) and you're fine. One friend turns 31 this year, lives with his parents and refuses to get his license or a job. I'm not quite giving up on him, but boy we've run out of ideas. Anyway I echo your thoughts, seeing how everyone reacted to me leaving reinforced my decision to do so. I was glad I left, I became a much more well-rounded person (eventually). I wouldn't give up the memories I made for anything, but I'm making new ones now and they're just as important.But man, 23! I went from being 21, drinking absinthe and racing down an icy street on a fridge door, to being 29 living with my partner and cat with our weekends spent gardening, watching movies or going to the beach. But I wanted this softer life after all the havoc I caused. I'm not peaked yet and I don't see that happening till my late 30s or early 40s if that. You've not even come close to peaking!
I grew up resenting my brother a bit as he was taller, clever and charismatic - but most importantly he has hemophilia and thus was treated very delicately by my parents. Conversely, being treated differently made him very angsty as a teenager so coupled with him being my older brother, and the constant pain of his body being unable to function (coupled with what we now know was an opioid addiction) he was very difficult at times. Me being a young idiot, I just saw him being a dick and I was so caught up in my own life I didn't understand how painful his was. I guess what I'm saying is, I thought I had a shit brother making my life hell, but I didn't - so I can only sympathize! Since those years though, we've become adults and much closer as brothers. So much has happened since, it'd be silly to try and put it all in here but he's a good man and I thoroughly enjoy seeing him whenever we can catch up. Yeah they have - to varying effects! I've tried it myself as well. His parents are some of the hardest working and loveliest people I know, and their daughter is currently working overseas where she bounces between Scotland and the USA. A fully functioning, bright and happy human she is. But my friend has basically been the same person since World of Warcraft came into his life in like.. 2004? 2005? One of those years anyway. He lives for games and sees no reason to shift away from this. Sometimes I'll hop onto Discord seeing he's in a voice chat and he's just snoring away, sound asleep at his desk. His mother said they tried to ban everything gaming while he sorted his studies out, back in high school, but he threw a massive rage-fit and started destroying things until they put everything back. Looking from the outside, he needed some kind of intervention with his gaming addiction a while back but his parents weren't sure how to do this without physically restraining him and risking damage to themselves. A quiet farming community isn't hugely well equipped for this I guess. Also looking in from the outside, I do wonder "why am I friends with him?". But I've known him most of my life and it's really hard to give him up. Especially knowing there is a bright and talented person hiding away in there. Never again for me mate. I think everyone should do it once just so they understand how the people in the industry have it day-to-day, but I've got my cushy office job and I ain't going back. Glad to hear you're excited!I had a 22 y/o brother that lived with me and tried to make my life a living hell
Could be a genuine mental health thing. Some downward cycle shit. Have the parents tried any tough love?
Aaahh the service industry