Happy to chat about it, and help in any way I can.
But you need to understand this is never a TOOLS problem. It's not something the right software can address. You can use any of dozens of different software tools.
What it comes down to is the HUMANS who are pulling the strings in the background; the moderators.
Not many people have the skills/perspective/talent to be a good moderator, and without the right people, the tool you choose won't matter. It's almost like you are approaching the problem from the wrong direction - looking at the tools first - rather than figuring out how to make your existing community leader's job easier.
But yeah! Hit me up! Let's chat.