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comment by am_Unition
am_Unition  ·  1557 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Why Won't Jeff Bezos Send Dick Picks to Help Save the Koalas?

I think they were referring to sending several tens of quadrillions of standard size toothpicks that were (until now) secretly carved into penises over the entirety of the most excruciating life ever lived (by the most talented artist ever to live) so that these dick picks could be burned in the Australian wildfires, probably in lieu of trees and other koala-advantageous things.

Ha, only joking. The situation is that the koalas have previously sent Bezos a catalog full of possible penis selections, and they're just waiting on him to "pick" some, otherwise, they'll kill themselves, because this is super important to them, and 100% unrelated to the wildfires.

But how long do you think it'd take me to hurt myself if I started swinging around a pickaxe with a floppy 2 ft. dildo for the shaft/handle? I say maybe 6 swings.

We're pushing back so much dark right now, Q.





Quatrarius  ·  1557 days ago  ·  link  ·  

it's a koan for the '20s:

what is the sound of one (1) unit of dark being pushed back?

thwomp

am_Unition  ·  1557 days ago  ·  link  ·  

When my dark gets real pushed back, I usually scream while inhaling, like the sandpeople of Tatooine, but you do you.