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comment by Foveaux
Foveaux  ·  88 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 8, 2020

This has me pondering my own ability/inability to be around people.

Like you, I have a usual list of things that make me fun to be around, and I really enjoy being around people.

However, I find it absolutely draining. I will actively seek out interaction, and enjoy being sought out. But once the interaction is done, I feel like my brain has run a half-marathon and all I want to do is get to an area devoid of people. This feeling doesn't kick in during any social setting, it only happens once I get home or I find myself alone after seeing someone, so I don't suddenly want to be alone but... When I find myself alone after socializing it's like I can breathe again yet am also tired. I've always found it strange that I have this "breathe again" sense - having it sort of implies to me that what I was doing was stressful and tense, yet I certainly don't feel that way around people.

It doesn't last long. I'm usually fine later in the day but I think I've always been tied up in the idea of extrovert vs introvert and the inaccurate definition I held for many years. I thought an extrovert was outgoing and loud, boisterous and craved to be the centre of attention, whereas an introvert hated these things and was a quiet, withdrawn person. But apparently, it's more to do with how you handle social situations - with an extrovert being energized by interaction, and an introvert preferring their own space.

I feel a little in limbo - I love interacting with people, but I feel drained doing so. I operate poorly by myself for extended periods, but it doesn't take a toll on me like interaction does.

If I'm honest with myself, I'd rather be drained and sociable than full of potential energy but with solitude to direct it at.





kingmudsy  ·  86 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    When I find myself alone after socializing it's like I can breathe again yet am also tired. I've always found it strange that I have this "breathe again" sense - having it sort of implies to me that what I was doing was stressful and tense, yet I certainly don't feel that way around people.

I can relate to this extremely well. It's like as soon as I'm alone and know that I'm going to go unbothered if I want to be, I literally heave a sigh of relief. It's a good feeling, I think! Part of me wonders how much of this is just part of the human experience, but it goes undiscussed enough that neither of us have realized it before?

Either way, your comment is really resonating right now. I like people a lot, but my nature is to isolate.