In elementary school in the 80s, we were given presentations about how photovoltaic cells were going to change the world. Utopia was just around the corner as soon as they could work out getting just a little more efficiency out of the panels and as soon as costs came down just a little. In the 90s, GM made an electric car that actual mortals could lease (not buy - see Who Killed The Electric Car). If we all recycle, then we could save X amount of aluminum and plastic. If we compost and garden we could reduce landfill waste. If we all do X then we can save Y.

.

.

I guess I'm just tired. and maybe a little bitter.

.

.

I got excited about solar and wind.

I turn off lights when not in use - have for years.

didn't buy a car until I was 21.

I don't eat a lot of meat - partly because I don't love it, but partly because of the amount of water and energy it takes.

I pay extra for recycling - have for years.

I changed out my bulbs for CFLs

I changed out CFLs for LEDs.

I got an electric car in 2013

I bought a house with solar.

I carpool even though it is almost painfully inconvenient.

When I'm not carpooling, I ride my bike 13 miles each way to work.

.

.

I spend, and have spent more mental anguish, and had more environmental guilt on these subjects... and I'm tired... because it feels very much like my actions are dwarfed, swallowed up, and more than negated by ONE steak eating, monster house dwelling, F-350 diving real estate agent who logs 100 miles/day.

I think I'm just tired, disillusioned, and burned out on the subject. just so tired. I'm not going to quit doing these things. I've just got a lot of sub surface anger and frustration boiling about it. I've been doing so many of the things... and talking about it. And evangelizing for it. And it feels like a life wasted on deaf ears, blind hearts, and hard hearts.