This is for every fucker that has ever implied my daughter's peanut allergy reflects a failure of parenting on the part of me and my wife.
This is for every fucker that has ever distanced themselves from our hardships by suggesting that if only I were more in tune with science we wouldn't be punished by the gods so.
This is for every fucker that has ever read something somewhere halfway and decided they now know more about the Epipen lifestyle than us poor dumb bastards that need one for home, one for school and one for each car and oh by the way Trader Joe's doesn't consider pecans to be "nuts."
That was just yesterday, by the way.
My daughter is the youngest patient in the country on the AR101 trial. "She's spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder." And she's effectively no longer allergic to peanuts. Tree nuts? Coconut? Been there, done that, got the epipens to prove it. But peanuts? At least I don't have to watch her wheeze for breath because she grabbed the wrong fork at the thai restaurant anymore.
Hey all you fuckers - I've been feeding my daughter poison daily for two and a half years now, all so you can casually give her a PBJ without asking. Continue in your shaming and continue in your oblivion 'cuz you know what? My kid's already got a college fund.
Which doesn't quite make up for being forced to eat at the "allergy table" all by herself (not going to that camp again boy howdy) but at least now you can SHUT THE FUCK UP.