Ain't she pretty? She's a Jaeger-Lecoultre ladies' movement out of an early '70s cocktail watch. I've got the watch, too. She cost me all of $17. Know why the balance is blurry? Because she runs. She wasn't supposed to. That's why she cost $17. But some lunkhead had bent the minute hand over double so it was stuck. Unbend the minute hand and suddenly it ticks. Needs refurbishing but that's just fine. Because here's the reality: - I bike 2500 miles and work 60 hours a week in Los Angeles - And go to 21 credits of CNC and jewelry classes - Because ultimately, opening up tiny, beautiful creatures like this is transformative. It is the fist pump. It is that moment where everything is all right. And it doesn't matter that I'm on hour 13 of my day and it doesn't matter that the 350lb roommate managed to give me athlete's foot on my palm and it doesn't matter that I'll have to be awake again in 7 hours and I haven't even made it home yet because that, right there, is the ultimate cross-pollination between "things that are beautiful" and "things that are mechanical" and it feels so right. Realized today that my CNC classes are about 75% asian dudes. Realized that about the same time I observed that my jewelry class is about 75% white women. Watches? I mean holy shit we've got two whole girls in there this time which means we're at fully 25% integrated but the amazing thing - to me - is that they're all happy to see me. It's weird when your life is so utterly and completely compartmentalized to recognize that you're warmly welcomed wherever you go. I'm not sure when that happened. Maybe it's always been that way but I've been entirely too fucked up on the inside to see it. Right now there's a wrap party I'm not at. There's a producer there who's going to be upset about that. And like quite a few TV stars who will feel similarly. And that's a weird feeling, too. Yeah, I couldn't hang out in Hollywood 'cuz I was too busy in art class. Citizen is trying to sell me a Swiss lathe. They're fond of saying "well of course we make watch parts on our lathes - they're Citizens!" and then they flash the Citizen on their wrist. And then you say "what do you have in the 5mm regime?" and they say "we've got something that goes down to 7." And then you say "do you make watches on that?" and they say "erm, well, we make the watches on a 4mm machine that we don't really sell in this country." And then you say "uh huh. Get back to me when you can price me an R04." I have an instructor that suggests we buy the $20 tool instead of the $16 tool because "she knows it's expensive but it's worth it." And I'm haggling over the price of a $170k machine tool. Guessin' that's "boujie."
I may have told you before that I took jewelry making as an elective in college. I think it was all women except me and a graduate aide but that was a long time ago. I didn’t know what to expect going in but I really liked it and thought about getting another emphasis in my BFA in jewelry but I was in my last semester and already had doubts about how much I'd spent on one useless degree. I maybe should have done it because bench jeweler is a more common job than sculptor. My fist bump moment was my first successful sweat solder. Soon as I saw that solder flow into place and took the torch off I think I did some sort of victory gesture. Lucky I didn’t burn anyone
Mmmmm that movement is gorgeous. Is the casing in good condition as well? If so that’s a pretty penny for such a small fix. It seems like such an odd error-you have to actually take the movement out to bend the minute hand. Who is opening watches and thinks that a bent minute hand trashes the watch?
The case is certainly restorable. It could use a new crystal but they all can from back then. Here's a secret: women's watches are cheap. Particularly small women's watches. Go surf eBay for the favorite unattainable brand of your choice, hand-wound, women's watch, go from lowest price. I see nine Rolexes for under $200. And when you're dumping estate jewelry, you take what you can get. So when that JLC goes for $7 (plus $10 shipping!) yeah you're mad but it's one thing out of a thousand you're unloading. But yeah I'm pretty tickled.
Oh brilliant, there's so much beautiful junk. I have small wrists, I may actually be able to pull something off here. If not at least I have my next mothers day gift set. I hope she enjoys broken watches I broke even further while cracking them open.
If a good deal comes around I'll probably pick one up. You're a horrible influence man... I've already spent close to $5k this year on watches, and I'm planning on picking up a Garmin fenix 5 once my pro deal comes through.
This week is a Done week. Bunch of projects? Done. Reading list? Mostly done. New bed because the old one was broken years ago and I wanted a bigger one? Done. D&D character drawing that is the best thing ever, legit, forreals? Done. Dream setup after years of slowly acquiring awesome stuff? Done. My materialist self should stfu for the next, like, year at least.
Clutter can be really aesthetically pleasing in my opinion.
That's a great drawing! Art is something that makes me crazy but that I can't stop wanting to do, which I think is telling me something. Any thoughts on where I might be able to find a tutor? Just aimless practicing is a bad way for me to learn, both practically and in terms of keeping me disciplined.
Very important sidenote: I did not draw that, I found an amazing artist to commission. If I'd have only 1% of that skill I'd be a better drawer than I am today. Aimless practice is good for creativity, not for skill. There is a plethora of studies that show that deliberate practice is what you need to do to actually get better. You need to define what's good and then do what Cal Newport calls "stretch and destroy": stretch your abilities to an uncomfortable level, and embrace honest feedback even if it destroys what you think is good. You should judge tutors by their ability to help in those two regards, if you'd ask me.
I joined an art club in Korea for precisely this reason. My art skills are potato-level. We're doing still lives with ink pens tonight, and getting feedback. After a few months I might upgrade from potato to rhubarb.
Dude, that's a great write up. What a week. As Tyler Cowen would observe, you have an excellent production function. What qualifies as a "project" for you?
Projects used to be 'things I want to do with a clear goal in mind'. But in recent months I've realized that goals are dumb, and that I am better off (both in terms of happiness and in terms of results) by thinking of projects as things I'm working systematically on to improve, explore and to learn. Paraphrasing Scott Adams:Goals are for losers. Literally - if you have a goal, you are a loser until you may or may not succeed. Goal oriented people are fighting discouragement at every turn, while systems people are winning every time they successfully apply their system: every time they succeed at what they set out to do. Losing pounds is a goal, but eating right is a system. "A system is something you do on a regular basis to increase your odds of happiness in the long run." It is only a system if it works more often than not - buying lottery tickets is not a system.
Oh man, I have a bunch of ideas. Writing is high on my priority list. I really need to work much harder on my academic paper. If all goes well I'll have a good v1.0 this weekend. Then there's a book review I want to write for George Gilder's book, and I'm thinking of writing a book proposal after that for the autonomous vehicle book that's been floating in the back of my mind for the past, say, four years or so. I like the tranquility of clean, white walls in my room but I also really like lasercut maps, so I'm thinking of getting a map of Rotterdam Central Station I made recently lasercut on nine 40x20cm oak panels: Part of me wants to pick up playing the guitar again, or to make more music. One of the things I want to do some day is to make an album. But the gap between what I have in my head and my actual skill level is more like an abyss in that regard.
So underrated. When my sister came to visit here she said my room was sad because there's no color :( Hahaha, I feel that. I've also been thinking about picking up guitar-- drums are great, but I've been singing more, and it's a little frustrating not being able to just accompany myself at open mics. Someday I want a suitcase kick drum.I like the tranquility of clean, white walls in my room
Part of me wants to pick up playing the guitar again, or to make more music. One of the things I want to do some day is to make an album. But the gap between what I have in my head and my actual skill level is more like an abyss in that regard.
Busy busy. Human fat. I host a family cookout every fall, and it's this Saturday. Really looking forward to that. Just two sessions into my next painting, but I am pleased to have figured out some cloud-related things. Watch out Frederic Church, I'm coming for you... Actually, I was at the MET two weeks ago, and was looking at a Church painting with a double rainbow in it. My friend and I were laughing about just how fucking good of a painter you need to be to have a perfectly good painting and say to yourself, "I'm going drop a double rainbow in this shit." only Church could pull that off.
That Church painting you posted some pubskis ago has been sitting on my desktop since. I can't tell quite what medium your painting is, but I picked up watercolors some weeks ago and am still figuring out basics. Do you ever aspire to paint a manmade landscape? I'm drawn to familiar portions of my walk through Seoul or my school's campus.
Next pubski I'll be in Tokyo. I'm super excited. There's also something really satisfying about cutting down all your necessities for 2 weeks into something that will fit into half a suitcase and a small bag. I'm going to be so broooke when I get back. Anyone have requests or recommendations? I'm gonna bring some hubski stickers with me.
Take a video like the last few moments of Lost in Translation. Make the music good and definitely make a video to remember.
I simply don’t have the energy today I need to; watch this space because there are things I want to share with Hubski — just tomorrow. __ I'm self-releasing another arty chapbook! It's called queen in pieces, queen made up of folded parts. many esteemable presses have already rejected the book in part or in whole! it comes with fresh illustrations. i think it's great. 
This month flew by. Who would have guessed that my fate would rest in the hands of Margot Tenenbaum. To be a founder is to have wild swings of ups and downs. This month was particularly swingy. Hope y’all are well. Onward, Hubski!
I signed up to the library and started reading again. Just finished reading Dharma Bums and started on Shantaram. Trying the spend less time on the social medias and watching YouTube and doing more “productive “ activities. Would like to go on an autumn hike before it gets too cold. But since I don’t have a car I’ll have to convince some friends to join. Bought my ticket to Africaburn today. My friend wants to do a 3 week road trip around South Africa after the event and I’m a little torn. On one hand - might as well do it since I’m going anyway. On the other - it’s honestly not a trip that’s very high on my bucket list right now. Planning to go to India for 2 months this winter and I’m not sure it’s a smart decision time/money wise to bum around Africa too. The hard part is making the decision now - more than 6 months in advance since I’d like to buy the plane tickets while they’re cheap. Announced our 3rd annual Halloween party on Facebook yesterday. I think this year we have more than 110 people invited... I really hope they don’t all show up because we won’t fit. But it’s nice to know we have a nice friend circle :)
When traveling, or considering travel, I like to re-read Alain de Botton's "The Art of Travel". It's a quiet, small book. Full of little smiles and pleasures and moments where you purr in happiness remembering a part of your travel history that vibes just right with some specific words or phrasing he uses...
it's my 6 month transiversary today (since i started hormone therapy) it seems like i'm getting to the point where people assume i'm male vs female about equally as much, although my voice gives me away a lot of the time still so that's good
In a funk to be honest. Staring at the phone hoping the pharmacy calls about my pain meds before the last dose wears off. Most young men have a few decades to get their heads screwed on before they are asked to be patriarch. Time is an unattainable luxury it seems, even as I stare at days of mostly empty hours. This past Sunday we were supposed to have a family day at the Detroit Institute of Art and then dinner afterwards. I already had a busy weekend planned months in advance. In our family group chat last week, I asked a half dozen times if there was a plan or timeline for Sunday. No one ever confirmed anything other than whinging about driving, and as a result Sunday was a shitshow. I try and I try and I try to help keep my family organized and calm, and they fight me at every turn. We were supposed to be in Detroit at 11:30 AM, at 11 I got a call from one of my brothers saying he was still in Lansing looking for a new shirt for dinner, because he didn't own anything with a collar or buttons. This is just one example. I was asked once why I always say 'the boys' instead of 'my brothers.' I just sort of shrugged. I have since learned that this particular vocal tic is associated with people who were given too much responsibility (regarding the care of siblings/family) too young. This is probably why I find children on the whole so tiresome. I have already had my fill of being a parent and found myself wanting. I am going to San Francisco next week with my dad for 4 days. I want to be excited but truthfully it just kind of fills me with dread. I have never been to California. The last time I saw the Pacific I was 12 years old. We are supposed to go fishing, see Alcatraz and spend a day in the wine country. All I can think about is how much my dad hates to spend any amount of money, and how San Francisco in specific and California in general are orders of magnitude more expensive than anything he is used to. I still have not been seen at Cleveland Clinic. They have had my referral in their system for almost 2 months, and I am assured that my file has been flagged as "triple urgent" what ever the hell that means. Edit* I did a personal record on the bike yesterday. 26 miles.
It's hard finding the right travel partner(s). My mom says it's a marriage in miniature--slight inconveniences that can wear your patience, and small urgencies that can rankle your poise. It can obviously be rewarding which is why we do it, but not everyone is cut out to travel well. I wish I could say that all the mini-marriages have made me more patient and good-humored with who I travel with, but I found that I'm mainly just more picky. In fact, writing this out... Maybe it's me that's the difficult one to travel with. Ha!
We all gonna make it. A simple meditation to reduce stress is to sit quietly and try to count to 100 cycles of breaths. In-out-one. In-out-two. Etc. And if you lose count the high-level move is to start over. Even if you are not successful I can almost guarantee that this will reduce some amount of stress.
I've had a period of "I need to take care of myself better" recently. I am new at this "being an adult" thing, and not being someone else's responsibility feels a bit strange. But it is also quite nice, being able to independently decide what will make myself fell better, what will make me relax, what I need to feel better in the long run... It makes me feel competent. And competent is one of the main things I aspire to be.
-lost my position today Go figure. The school I worked for didn't want to have bookers anymore. At least I have my check. They also want me to attend so I can book an agent for modelling and such. What a headache. -possibly going into the studio next week. Might be doing music for the industry. Super excited about that. -opening up a new bank account tomorrow -visited the place I stayed at over the summer -applying for work -time to really study computer stuff -time to finish the first draft of my novel -love interest doesn't want to speak to me anymore Blaring comfort music. Sleeping in and praying for stability. Calling people and most are busy. If you want to send a message to me, now is the time. -going to an aa meeting tonight City of Angels, baby. Gotta love it. When is the next meetup for Hubski? I would be interested, but it depends on the timing. -staying busy to keep busy Here I am sitting in a bar and drinking soda water with lime like a casual. Bars have great karaoke- what can I say? ... all in all, not a bad week. Just filled with life.
Did something I've been talking about for two years and bought a camera and lens! Just in time for what should shape up to be two beautiful, fun weekends! Now how do I learn "photography"?
ButterflyEffect has had about $4k worth of camera equipment that belongs to me for about nine months now. No wait. I think I got it back. He was going to borrow it again. Hmm. Gonna have to look in that cabinet. I have not had time to take any real pictures lately.
I gave that back probably five months ago! And then yeah, was going reborrow but couldn't.
I've been really throwing myself into baseball/softball (pun absolutely intended). Playing, watching, reading. I feel a bit like Bart Giamatti: On the bright side, I also learned to type on a German keyboard, and I've had time to discover what I like to call small films of quiet beauty. The list for now: Submarine (2011) Absolute Giganten (1999) Temporada de Caza (2017) LuTo (2015) Lost in Translation (2003) Paterson (2016) It's amazingly satisfying to come home from a long day at work and lose yourself in a small, quiet, beautiful world. Sometimes it's also a good reminder of how small, quiet, and beautiful our world can be. Or at least a decent alternative to the bar, when I'm not feeling particularly social. -- Weren't there rumblings a few weeks ago about 3-4 of us being in SW Germany? I know Cumol and I are studying here, but I feel like there was at least one other person that expressed interest in a meetup. I'm bored in the semester break; who wants to come to Freiburg? (Or meet us in Heidelberg, or Stuttgart or wherever.)Whatever the reason, it seemed to me that I was investing more and more in baseball, making the game do more of the work that keeps time fat and slow and lazy. I was counting on the game's deep patterns, three strikes, three outs, three times three innings, and its deepest impulse, to go out and back, to leave and to return home, to set the order of the day and to organize the daylight. I wrote a few things this last summer, this summer that did not last, nothing grand but some things, and yet that work was just camouflage. The real activity was done with the radio--not the all-seeing, all-falsifying television--and was the playing of the game in the only place it will last, the enclosed green field of the mind. There, in that warm, bright place, what the old poet called Mutability does not so quickly come.
I’m back in stuttgart for the next week, come on out. I have a perfectly good couch to sleep on and Wasen just started this week(though admittedly I may not attend this year).
Maybe add "A Night on Earth" and "The Band's Visit" to that list of small, quiet films? And blow your mind one night by watching "The Majestic" and see Jim Carrey actually ACT, and show subtlety, and be humble and interesting, rather than bombastic and repulsive?
Wild. I got about 20 minutes into the Netflix documentary about his performance as Andy Kaufman before remembering that I find both Kaufman and Carrey absolutely awful in every context.And blow your mind one night by watching "The Majestic" and see Jim Carrey actually ACT, and show subtlety, and be humble and interesting, rather than bombastic and repulsive?
$400 later, and the old motorcycle is ready to sell for about $3k. Maybe not the best financial decision, but the right thing to do for my beloved bike that needs to find a new home. Motorcyclists and musicians do not always make fiscally-responsible decisions. In other news, a cheapass bass guitar which sells for about $150 new, made its way into my hands. I did some basic service on it to get it working well again, in preparation for finding it a good new home. But it has this great black metalflake sparkly paint job... and some real punk rock dings and scratches... and then I plugged it in, and it has this great thumpy P-bass kind of sound... but the neck is all warped. So I bought a new neck ($180) and tuners ($75), and am assembling the beast to make it my Punk Rock Bass. Yes, I spent $255 to make a $150 bass to play punk rock on. What? You got something to say about that, buddy? huh? HUH?!?
Nope. The CASUAL spending of $250 on musical instruments. The CASUAL several thousand dollar loss on the bike. I've been more stressed than usual. I've explained in the past that quippy is the lesser evil to long bitter diatribes.What, spending $250 on musical instruments?
I don't think you even hear yourself anymore. I mean, you're reefing back on the bile but all you know is that you stepped in it, but you don't think you've transgressed enough to back off the caps lock. You started out by insisting goobster feel bad for an entire generation of human beings because they will never experience the financial freedom of spending $75 on guitar parts or some shit, which is bullshit enough. But when called on it, you've morphed it into him somehow not feeling properly contrite about his choices which is straight bullshit, dude, and you know it. Look. I'm sorry you're in a shitty mood. I'm sorry things aren't going your way. I'm sorry it's rough. But fucking hell it's one thing to say "I feel bad" and quite another to say "and you should too." Drag it out to "feel bad for my entire generation" and fuck off, Jack. Every single person on this website - to a man - comes out indignant and swinging whenever anyone posts a "millennials are bad because X" article. There is probably no greater support network of old fogeys pulling for millennials on the Internet. And here you are, pissed off that your clinic won't call, shitting all over someone else's quixotic victory but too cowardly to do it for yourself so you hide behind demographics of all things. This isn't a "quippy" vs. "long and bitter" issue this is 100% misplaced rage. Yesterday I casually bought $130 worth of horological tools. Then I casually bought a $8 chess set for my daughter to earn with her coins (we instituted a token economy to keep her tantrums down and it's been a mixed success). Then I casually bought a $12 watch for the exact same reason. Then I casually bought pizza for me and a friend. And then I casually didn't fucking tell anyone about it because I casually feel casually about it which means I don't think anyone else would fucking care. Goob? He's got seven paragraphs on the way he's choosing to spend his money and apparently the act of telling you about it is reason enough to cut loose. 'cuz I'll point out: Zebra's going to fuckin' Japan. Elizabeth's going to fuckin' South Africa but you ain't got shit to say about that 'cuz they're your age. So ask yourself next time you feel like lashing out at the next casual bystander. "Am I actually mad at this person? Do I want them to feel like they're the cause of all that's wrong in the world?" 'cuz I spent my entire goddamn childhood with a woman who telegraphed her need for us to cheer her up by shitting all over everything we liked and you know what? I stopped talking to that bitch for four fuckin' years. And I'm not even related to you.
(Minor detail: That sentence means I spent $400 to get the bike serviced, so I could sell it for $3k. Without servicing it, I probably could have sold it for $2800, but the new owner would have to get it serviced. I wanted to do the right thing for the bike, and sell it in the best condition possible, so the new owner falls in love with it, rather than having to wrench on it. As it is, due to looming winter, and bikes don't sell in winter, I'm probably going to have to sell it for $2500. So it's not a "several thousand dollar loss", and I never represented it as such.)
Well, when you are a 50-year old DINK with no house payments due to a family fluke two generations ago, the salary goes to things other than diapers and after school sports and minivans and providing calories to voracious growing humans and saving for college and/or retirement and all that. The people your age that are doing alright financially are not story-worthy and don't fit the model the media is selling. So you don't hear about them much, except when someone complains about "gentrification", and then realizes it's caused largely by millenials making Amazon/Google/etc money, and paying exorbitant amounts for things, because they can. It ain't 35-year old parents of 2 that are paying $2500/mo for a 500-square foot one-bedroom apartment/condo in that new LEED-certified building that replaced that classic old Seattle craftsman bungalow...
I'm around the same age as you and plenty of my friends are doing alright. Well enough to have kids, get married in lakeside hotels, and own their owns houses and shit It's no coincidence that they all work in the IT/Tech industry. That's where all the money is (as goobster mentioned). I mean, have you seen how much a digital agency will pay to poach a half-talented employee from a competitor? I'm talking an easy 10k pay rise, if not more. It's ridiculous. The freelance offers are even crazier if you're prepared to work for some soulless corporation and do your own admin. I also have friends getting by on bar work and other lower paid jobs; I know it's not great for everyone. But there's definitely a significant amount of our generation who are doing just fine financially.
I've had a bad week mental health wise. I bad month mental health wise really. And it's fine, I've rearranged my life to the point where I can take time off without falling behind and then having to catch up and without having to justify it in detail. I have access to healthcare. It still sucks though. And I am feeling way better than before, a year and a half ago I was in a really dark place. Now it's more like light gray. It sucks but not a lot. I still go swimming and go to outdoor gyms and play pokemon go. I have started going to raids and the people in my local raid group are nice and interesting to talk to. I play DnD (though my DM might be sick this week), I do theater, I try doing some schoolwork. But I do really miss just being functional where i didn't have to make an effort in daily life. And I'll get back to that. But it is much nicer to not constantly have to try. But I am capable of trying. So mixed feelings all around.