Share good ideas and conversation.   Login, Join Us, or Take a Tour!
comment by katakowsj
katakowsj  ·  56 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Everything You Know About Obesity is Wrong

What am I missing?

    “I don’t want to be portrayed; this is not about me. It’s about that guy you always see on the far treadmill at the gym. Or the lady who brings the most beautiful salads to work every day for lunch. It’s about the little girl who got bullied because of her size, and the little boy who was told he wasn’t man enough. It’s not about me, but had it been about me when I was that chubby little girl, maybe I wouldn’t be standing here, head against the door, wondering if I’m enough.”— ERIKA

How is it about the guy on the treadmill or the lady that brings beautiful salads for lunch?




kleinbl00  ·  56 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Here's what you're missing:

    It’s about that guy you always see on the far treadmill at the gym.

Not "the treadmill." The far treadmill. The one away from everybody else, self-shunning to save everyone else from the trouble.

    Or the lady who brings the most beautiful salads to work every day for lunch.

Not "beautiful salads." "The most beautiful salads." The ones that reflect painstaking, obsessive care, the objects of focus, the most important part of the day that serves triple duty as the high point of the work day, the ward against being invited to Cheesecake Factory for lunch (2700 calories in them nachos) and the virtue signaling of "yes I know I'm fat I'm working hard to do something about it please don't judge me for what I'm eating."

You're making her point, really - you read "guy on the treadmill" and "lady that brings beautiful salads" and completely missed the obsessive qualifiers that fat people live in so that you completely miss them.

katakowsj  ·  55 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I guess I do then. Not coming from an obsessive relationship with food, I didn’t recognize that it was from that perspective. I’m physically fit for my age and I feel fortunate to be so and to have the opportunity to be this way.

I typically bring a salads in a very vegetable heavy lunch to work each day and get a bunch of flak from some less fit coworkers about it. Not that it bothers me too much. This article got me thinking a bit and the comment about the salad piqued my interest.

kleinbl00  ·  55 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's entirely possible that I notice more about my surroundings than nearly anyone I know because when you're fat, you're constantly on the alert for things that will cause you social stigma. And, because you're fat, you blend into the background as much as possible. Watch the heavier people around you. I'll bet (A) they move like ninjas (B) you've never noticed that before. That's because when you stomp around you're being loud. If you hear them walking it's because they're gigantic hippos.

I know one guy who is more observant and quieter than me. He's also heavier by far.

Foveaux  ·  55 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I get similar comments too - I certainly wouldn't be commenting on someone elses food choices so the idea of others doing it do me does bother me a bit. I eat food I like and I make sure I have enough of it to progress in my training - I guess I'm lucky it's that simple for me!

kleinbl00  ·  55 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ahhh, see - but if you're skinny and someone comments on your food they're an asshole. Either that or they're making conversation. If you're fat and someone comments on your food they're helping. They're offering advice. Because, you see, it's clear you know fuckall about diet, just look at your plate!

I commented on Reddit once that I was frustrated over the fact that eating 3 slices of pizza caused me to gain 4 lbs. Then Reddit got mad at me, trolled back through my comments, and all of a sudden there were about eight posts mocking me for thinking I could lose weight when all I ate was pizza. Whenever you're fat, the meal you're eating right then is the meal you eat all the time, unless it's something healthy in which case you're clearly sneaking a dozen donuts when nobody's looking because after all they're thin with no problems so obviously you must be an absolute glutton, you fat disgusting pig.

Foveaux  ·  55 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I could be in the minority but I just don't comment on anyone's food unless it looks or smells fantastic. I used to be chubby and I hated people doing it to me, whatever their intentions - I do find it funny that now people comment more often on my food choices than before when I wasn't fit. Maybe I'm letting the past dictate; people could just be asking out of curiosity. Though I can't imagine anyone asking "are you sure you should be eating that" to an overweight person, like that just seems so monumentally stupid. Wtf are you expecting in answer when you ask that. Apparently it happens though.

    Whenever you're fat, the meal you're eating right then is the meal you eat all the time

This gets me - and when you see someone obviously fit getting a pizza I've "earned it" or it's a "cheat meal". Immediately explained away as something they deserve.

katakowsj  ·  55 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Whenever you're fat, the meal you're eating right then is the meal you eat all the time

    This gets me - and when you see someone obviously fit getting a pizza I've "earned it" or it's a "cheat meal". Immediately explained away as something they deserve.

I say screw to hell with any dumb-ass that would ever spend the time to think or mention it. With an attitude like that, they'r e not even worth the time or consideration anyway. Eat for health and happiness.

Not that it's easy to do, given much of pop-culture. But that part of pop culture should be disregarded also.

Also, I lay off the cheese and dairy. No pizza for me. Damn, but that stuff gives me me acne. I mean, it's meant to make baby cows grow really fast. I find it acts as an inflammatory, plus I can feel my blood sugar levels surge after a lot of dairy, of course, especially in the form of ice cream. Blah.

kleinbl00  ·  54 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I say screw to hell with any dumb-ass that would ever spend the time to think or mention it.

Except they're your friends.

And they're your family.

And they're doing it out of love.

And they're doing it out of concern.

And they want to know why you can't be normal.

And they want to know why you can't look like them.

I mean, listen to yourself. Here in the midst of solidarity you go on an anti-dairy rant - despite it all, you can't help but give dietary advice based on your experience. Three spare sentences separate "eat for health and happiness" and "Also, I lay off the cheese and dairy."

My cousin (150lb overweight) has been shunned by her sister (100lb overweight) and her aunt (75lb overweight) because she started posting body-acceptance images on Facebook. The 100lb-overweight cousin posted this and the 150lb overweight one - her big sister - replied "I was going to post this but I was too busy eating twinkies."

The psychology is so deep most people can't even see it even when we're talking about it.

Only person on my feed who didn't argue with it? And keep in mind, I didn't post it - is the former counselor at an eating disorder clinic.

kleinbl00  ·  55 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Though I can't imagine anyone asking "are you sure you should be eating that" to an overweight person, like that just seems so monumentally stupid. Wtf are you expecting in answer when you ask that. Apparently it happens though.

If they don't ask, they look at you meaningfully. If they don't look at you meaningfully, they pause their conversation.

I literally stopped eating in high school. For four years, I ate nothing - no calories - before 5:30pm. Then at 5:30 I gorged. Then I ran eight miles.

Nobody else can see the stars in front of your eyes but that's okay. You know they're there. They're your halo. They're what make you worthy.

Because fuckin' nobody else will.