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comment by tacocat
tacocat  ·  264 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: PSA: The hubwheel is not a "like" button.

    I know, this seems like useless pedantry

It doesn't seem like it. It is

cgod  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I don't think your being a dick at all. It's exactly the kind of comment that I'd have made if I felt like I fully understood the word pedantry. It's a simple emotive statement that puts you on the record and it directly addressed the posters own expression with his own words.

I do loath it when I'm told I'm not Hubsking correctly.

All that being said I share some of goobster's sentiment on the hubwheel but like I said, it's personal. No right way to Hubski, there are probably some wrong ways but I don't think this is one of them.

ThatFanficGuy  ·  264 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You're being a dick.

I know you must be going through some tough times right now. Beating an overwhelming, crippling addiction is never easy. You must be tough to do so - and sometimes, being tough also means being coarse.

Whatever pain you feel is not a justification for being mean to others - especially in a community like this - especially not to a person trying to remind everybody to be mindful of our pitfalls.

kantos  ·  264 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    You're being a dick.

I believe the phrase is, "A dick is worth a thousand words."

    One kind of life-alienating communication is the use of moralistic judgments that imply wrongness or badness on the part of people who don’t act in harmony with our values. Such judgments are reflected in language: “The problem with you is that you’re too selfish.” “She’s lazy.” “They’re prejudiced.” “It’s inappropriate.” Blame, insults, put-downs, labels, criticism, comparisons, and diagnoses are all forms of judgment.

    Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values.

    It is important here not to confuse value judgments and moralistic judgments. All of us make value judgments as to the qualities we value in life; for example, we might value honesty, freedom, or peace. Value judgments reflect our beliefs of how life can best be served.

- Marshall Rosenberg

Other than that, welcome back?

I promise, the need for belonging won't be fulfill by opening with a judgement. Analyses as evidence are just as vindictive as the statement.

But, if you must indulge, feel free to ignore this comment entirely.

ThatFanficGuy  ·  264 days ago  ·  link  ·  

A guy goes "This is useless" to an insightful comment on the life of Hubski, and you're okay with that?

I'm not. It sucked as a gesture. It wasn't even constructive criticism: it was just mean. I had to say something to indicate that.

kantos  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Frankly, I don't give a damn about the rest. I trust those two will be capable, discerning adults to discuss the content at hand - which is what taco's comment boiled down to - rather than sling shit at one another... or not.

What I'm not okay with is seeing a familiar name disappear into the abyss without a heads up only to find out there was a disagreement with similar context. What I'm not okay with is seeing what seems to be the same cycle repeat itself after your extended break.

ThatFanficGuy  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

What I'm not okay with is seeing people care only when shit hits the fan.

I believe it's most people's default attitude to see oneself as a whole, level individual. I don't have that luxury. My head is brimming with thoughts of how flawed, how ugly and how miserable of a person I am. On some level, I want to believe them, 'cause it would make the game that much easier: if I am that terrible of a person, then all the bad signs I see are correct and there's no need to interpret them. Then I'm an asshole, truly and sincerely. Then I'm useless, in the most basic, existential sort of way.

So when shit hits the fan, suicide is on the list. It's a way out of all the shit I've accumulated through no fault of my own. I want to make things better, but there's layers upon layers of fuckedness that I need to unfold first. But...

I have maybe a week's worth of food stacked around the house. I have a bit more than 200 rubles - about $3.5 - to my name. I have no job, no savings, no rainy-day bank accounts and no one to ask for money from. I could do freelance jobs online to get the money I need, but the fear of failure and the anxiety are so severe that all I can afford to do is play videogames because at least there I can achieve something. I need professional help pronto but I can't afford it. And out of ten people I've met IRL during the year I've been missing, the only friend I thought I'd made is being pissy with me 'cause I'm "unwelcoming", which doesn't fucking help my mental state one bit. Just yesterday, I was reminded by a good gal how I royally fucked the opportunity to ever be friends with her, in the sweetest way possible...

...and there's not a single person I can talk to.

So yeah, I'm a little off right now. This isn't square-one shithead-TFG: I'm off the table, on the floor, and the floor is crumbling.

Tell me about the feeling of belonging that I'm missing once again, motherfucker.

tacocat  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Where do you get the gall to come at me for being a dick then call someone a motherfucker for failing to respect your suffering? Life is not a game where the most pain is rewarded. Sorry you're having a bad time but life is not a suffering contest. I'm in bad shape. That's my cross to bear. Everyone has problems and they're important to them because they are their own. Me being homeless for two months is no less important than someone else failing to get a promotion. And I understand that. Because I don't whine about my self importance to seek sympathy

Is there a Russian word for laconic BTW? Because I'm tired of your verbose explanations

ThatFanficGuy  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    That's my cross to bear.

That's right. Not others'. Which is my point.

tacocat  ·  262 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I rarely know what you're talking about. It gets weird when you think you can school me on usage and grammar.

If you understand your problems are your own then deal with them with quiet dignity instead of using them as an excuse to name call and be generally unpleasant

ThatFanficGuy  ·  262 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My problem is not with you. My problem is with something you did. Don't make it about your indignation.

I offered you my compassion in the best shape it presents itself. You blew it off.

There's no dignity in quiet. No bravery in suffering so that no one could see. That way, your burden becomes burden for others. It's how you find yourself talking to an Internet stranger you have no respect for about how they're insufferable and should crawl back into the hole they came from 'cause nothing good ever comes out of their mouth.

Quatrarius  ·  262 days ago  ·  link  ·  

tacocat and you: could you both cease or move to PM - you're cluttering up chatter with slapfighting

ThatFanficGuy  ·  262 days ago  ·  link  ·  

...what is it that makes you (and, seemingly, everyone) call it on me?

kantos  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

If people show up when shit hits the fan, is that not evidence enough they gave a shit in the first place.

tacocat  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I had to say something to indicate that.

Instead you called me a dick. Good job

ThatFanficGuy  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

What I said was "You're being a dick".

I can go into the intricacies of the English grammar and tell you that tense aspects used matter a great deal ("you are X" vs. "you're being X"), but you're not the one for "useless pedantry", are you?

I pointed out what I saw as a blatantly disrespectful comment with the most straightforward way I could think of. I could've sassed you. I could've said nothing. Instead, I chose to be honest and compassionate with you. You are a function of the shit you're going through, and I pointed out as much to let you know that I don't think of you as a flawed human being. I think of you as someone who's making a mistake by saying something so properly fucked. I said as much in the most concise way I could think of.

You went into defensive because of that. I understand. But I don't like bullshit. I even have a separate rule for not having any in my life. I'm not the guy to follow rules and regulations - and I have a rule for that. I'd rather call you out for acting like a dick to a fellow Hubskier, and I'd rather you do the same if you see me doing it. At least that way, we aren't stuck in the fog.

Devac  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I can go into the intricacies of the English grammar and tell you that tense aspects used matter a great deal ("you are X" vs. "you're being X")

How about next time you use a word like 'flippant' instead of relying on subtleties of present continuous?

tacocat  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I can go into the intricacies of the English grammar

Not effectively in my experience

tacocat  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Imgur is file extension name agnostic so you can rename a gif as a jpeg and it'll embed here

tacocat  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
ThatFanficGuy  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Well, if that is the part you want to criticize, then I reckon you heard me.

tacocat  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  


ThatFanficGuy  ·  263 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Then, by all means, enjoy the ride.

tacocat  ·  264 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Cool. Thanks