I went back and read your post from two weeks ago, missed it. And this one. And maybe (probably) because I just got out of my therapist's office where I bawled at how hard things have been recently, your words struck me with a clarity and poignancy that made the sunshine feel real. I too agonize over the mirror and with my body. I too struggle to find the balance between feeling debonair and confident and the midday fallout from realizing how big a mistake that shirt was. And I acknowledge it's nowhere near as difficult for someone like me (26 year old guy) as it is for women. That's to say, my tourism through the trenches of body image issues makes me appreciate how truly skull-rattling keeping up appearances is; striking all the balances (professional/not-too-uptight, sexy/not-hoey, done-up/not-hiding-something) each day is like the least rewarding stairmaster ever. <3
Yo we all have pain, it’s way cooler to realize how it’s interrelated and what we might have in common than to live in a silo or a field of comparison where only the most hurt can speak. What I’m trying to say is I don’t have or want a monopoly on any emotions like this, and I sure as shit won’t be telling anyone whether they’re “allowed” to feel a certain way or not. Most of my healing has come from places where I have been able to speak and feel heard.