I went back and read your post from two weeks ago, missed it. And this one. And maybe (probably) because I just got out of my therapist's office where I bawled at how hard things have been recently, your words struck me with a clarity and poignancy that made the sunshine feel real.
I too agonize over the mirror and with my body. I too struggle to find the balance between feeling debonair and confident and the midday fallout from realizing how big a mistake that shirt was. And I acknowledge it's nowhere near as difficult for someone like me (26 year old guy) as it is for women. That's to say, my tourism through the trenches of body image issues makes me appreciate how truly skull-rattling keeping up appearances is; striking all the balances (professional/not-too-uptight, sexy/not-hoey, done-up/not-hiding-something) each day is like the least rewarding stairmaster ever.