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comment by kleinbl00
kleinbl00  ·  2208 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Got temporarily banned from a class

My wife's first year of med school there was a teacher that constantly belittled students. She wrote gotcha questions in the exams (that weren't correct) and would do tests the day before she scheduled them to "keep you on your toes."

My wife was one of the few people passing, but that didn't stop her from helping to organize a walkout. They set up a table in front of the class, got two hundred signatures, and forced the dean to compel the teacher to take her meds. She was audited for the rest of the year and retired two years later.

Professors can be crazy. You're not going to provoke a walkout because, as you say, you're unique. Therefore you need to understand and diffuse the situation solo, which is a lot more challenging.

She seems to have her head wedged about respect. You showing up late is clearly disrespectful in her mind. This is why she confronted you in front of the entire class rather than ask you to stay after class. Once you called her on the fact that she fucked up, she couldn't back down because then she'd look foolish (yes she looks foolish anyway but foolish and proud beats foolish and cowed).

You need to go to her office hours, tell her you're late to her class because of scheduling conflicts entirely beyond your control, and as you're not at fault you'd appreciate it if she'd be an ally rather than an enemy. Then let her know that if she couldn't come to some resolution that will help you graduate, you'll take it up with the dean.

She'll lose. She knows she'll lose. You're giving her an opportunity to save face.

You don't have to like her. You don't have to like it. But with as much going on as you have, take the easy way out.





FirebrandRoaring  ·  2208 days ago  ·  link  ·  

So, you're saying she challenged me to go to the dean to save face? Kind of makes sense from her perspective, although not entirely.

Suppose I go to the dean first. What would happen and likely happen? I want to see how to play my cards right.

kleinbl00  ·  2208 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm hypothesizing that she had forgotten your circumstances when she called you out publicly, but once you put her on the spot she wasn't about to back down. After all, this was a face-saving maneuver on her part ("who run bartertown?") and your counter gave her a choice between losing in her mind ("I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made such brash assumptions about what a horrible student you are") or trumpeting her charisma ("I don't care if you have an excuse, I am the alpha-omega").

The dean has far more ability to embarrass her than you do. Invoking the dean immediately solves your immediate problem but potentially leaves her wounded and angry. Giving her a chance to back down has the lowest impact on your future academic freedom.

Start with her in private, act contrite, then escalate as necessary. I'm hopeful that you won't need to escalate much.

FirebrandRoaring  ·  2208 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thank you very much. I'll post about how it went.

kleinbl00  ·  2208 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Just be very careful not to threaten anything or imply a threat of anything until you are certain she's not going to budge. From a combat perspective she already exposed her flank by striking prematurely and without any backing strength. You don't want her to double down on her position if you can help it.

Be the supplicant. Supplicants are non-threatening. And if you fail, you don't have to be supplicating anymore and she's got to know it.