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comment by kleinbl00
kleinbl00  ·  2301 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: December 6, 2017

My first encounter with the public side of all this was when a very gentle, very shy, very kind friend (who happened to lift a lot of weights) was written up by an ex on DontDateHimGirl.com as a physically violent stalker. He had in fact broken things off when the accuser faked a pregnancy in order to pressure him into marriage (by her own admission).

There was no recourse. She had done it purely to damage his reputation at his church, where he had a leadership position. The site didn't even respond to his communication. It was up for six or seven years, coloring every relationship he had from that point forth (small town, word gets around), even after she bailed back to Canada under inauspicious circumstances. Despite the fact that she had a reputation as a liar and instigator, there was always that 'what if' hanging over him.

I'm sure the website - and other devices like it - were created with the best of intentions. And hopefully one of the side effects of #metoo is we acknowledge accusations in daylight where we apply the normal standards of credibility and intent that we apply to everything else. When things are under shroud of darkness, accusations are enough because we assume due process is denied the accuser because of the environment; it's true often enough. But for opportunists with no scruples, it gives cover for women with made-up problems to make things less safe for women in real jeopardy.