With the kind and magnitude of work that Work is throwing at me (has been throwing at me steadily, ramping up from at least midyear on) - I'm probably crazy AND stupid, but it's possible I could see a promotion come Q1 2018.

It's what I've been working towards for a long time.

They're throwing good things at me and I'm trying to run with it. Well, I am running with it. I'm just holding myself back from running with these things without thought, direction, consideration, or pulling in others.

(I want to. They want me to automate things and I see how and where and I want to just dive in. But they're right: this is a project that will go much better if I pull a few others in to get wit me.)

I would fully want and deserve my promotion, if they gave it.

But also I have a coworker and friend (she sits literally next to me) who has seniority (like she's about 12-15 years older than me) (has been working at the same level as I have, in this same department, for longer) (then again I was this level in a different department beforehand) and a consistent, determined "slow and steady wins the race" approach to work which I wish I had, & to her same degree. I told her last year that I thought, if anybody got promoted that year [that wasn't me - but I knew I wasn't going to be promoted then] that it had to be her. I was pissed for her at who got promoted instead and I felt her value was not appreciated, that flash and bombast got chosen over her consistent, thorough, and considered approach.

But like, I don't think this year's her year.

I'm going to feel awkward and somewhat shitty if it turns out it's mine. I'm going to feel bad.

Of course, I'd never feel bad enough to turn down my own, and well deserved, advancement. Just bad enough to feel awkward when we make small talk in the morning for a couple of weeks, or months.

She isn't glamorous. The work she turns in doesn't light the world up or flash or make loud noises. But, more importantly, you can trust it. I'd work with her again in the future, anytime. I'd put my back to her.

That's just the way it goes.