My feedback is it's a little proofreading from perfect. Little stuff: using words like "still" and "very" doesn't really help, it just deformalizes and denigrates the language and you can almost always do without. A couple typos. And I might TL;DR this:
Ethereum is a generalised protocol for decentralized, secure transaction-based state-changing virtual machines.
In little words, "Ethereum is a set of rules for people or devices to exchange not just money, but data and ideas... without the need for any central authority to govern them" or something like that.