I make one smoothie. I make it almost every morning. I make it well, I make it consistently.
I've been spending a year or so figuring out how to make the best kale smoothie I can - how to break down the kale well, how to balance out the flavors. I find that the two most important flavors to add to the kale are sweetness and a citric component.
So, here's how I do it. This is all done with a Nutribullet because it's what I've got, not sure what the actual measurements are, I just do it all visually.
1. Grab you some kale. It should be cold. If possible, it should be de-stemmed, though I don't consider that essential. Grab enough to fill the large nutribullet container halfway, loosely packed. Add water to cover the kale.
2. Blend this for about a minute. This is the part where you just beat the shit out of the kale to get it to your desired consistency - for me, the smoother and more finely processed, the better.
Optional step: sometimes I add almonds to this. I do it at this point, and blend like a motherfucker. Nothing worse in a smoothie than choking on grainy almond meal.
3. Add the remaining components: 1 frozen banana, preferably halfed. 2-3 large frozen strawberries - I don't like to add much more than this, but I do like the tartness that they add. 5 or 6 frozen pineapple chunks - this is the essential part. I find pineapple to be the ideal citric fruit to balance out the kale. If you're going to skip any part of this recipe, make it the strawberry. The banana and pineapple are, IMO, essential.
4. Add some water and blend. The amount of water added is up to taste - I like smoothies with a bit of thickness to them, but still easily drinkable.
Optional changes: swap kale out for spinach, though I find this to make the smoothie too...frothy. I'm also a slow drinker, and I find that there is more separation between the solid/liquid components with spinach, leading to me just drinking some solid leaves.
Add almond milk instead of water. I don't love the taste of this personally, and would add more pineapple to counteract the added basic taste.