If it helps in any way, I have a difficult relationship with my father, too.

I am the firstborn son of an arabic father. This, for some, already summarises the troubles I face. He has a specific view of what I should be and should not be and he does not seem to understand that I am all the way on the other side of that spectrum. He wanted a masculine/strong and muslim guy who goes to uni abroad, comes back to his hometown, finds a good paying job, builds a house, has grandchildren and in general makes him proud.

What he got is an atheist, slightly chubby nerd that is not earning much at doing his PhD, thinks about staying in academia or even studying longer. I do not intend to go back to my hometown nor do I play to get married or build a house any time soon.

Every time we meet, I have a feeling that he finally accepts me and my decisions just to end the meeting with a bang. I leave upset, he leaves upset, rinse and repeat. This has been going on for the past 9 years.

I think it will never change. Or rather, I accept that it will not change any time soon and act as if I don't care.

I agree with kleinbl00 here, just be yourself and do whatever you want to do. We will find our ways :)